


What Is This Feeling?

by happymidnight



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Confused Daniel, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Oblivious Minhyun, Slow Burn, rare ship coming through
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2018-12-12 18:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 31,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11742387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happymidnight/pseuds/happymidnight
Summary: Ever since Daniel first laid eyes on Minhyun he's felt a weird sensation in his heart that he just can't explain.





	1. Confusion

Up until this point in his life Daniel had only ever been attracted to girls. 

While staring at the ceiling, he flips through his memories, recalling each and every girl that made his heart race. 

_None of this makes sense._ Daniel thinks as he runs his fingers through his hair. Images of familiar faces flash through his mind, and for a split second he sees it. He sees him.

With a frustrated sigh, Daniel buries his face into his pillow. 

It had only been girls. Only girls ever seemed to be able to quicken the pace of his heartbeat. In his 20 years of life, no man had ever been able to impact him in quite the same way. That’s why Daniel finds it so hard to wrap his head around the anomaly that is Hwang Minhyun.

At first he ignored it.

Daniel recalls the day he first laid eyes on Minhyun and the way he confidently walked through the doors into the studio. His first impression was that he was handsome, but so were the rest of the Pledis trainees who were trailing behind. As he watched the boys fully enter the room Minhyun’s eyes had flit up and briefly he met his gaze. In that tiny fleeting moment, Daniel’s heart skipped a single beat. He didn’t know what it meant. It was a strange and unfamiliar feeling, and instead of trying to understand he ignored it.

But it happened again when Minhyun called out his name. It took him by surprise. The fact that the older boy knew of his existence caused a strange stirring in his stomach. Despite that, he was shocked that this boy personally chose him to join his team. While he walked up to join the other members, he stole a quick glance at Minhyun, who then in turn gave him the brightest smile he had ever seen. Flustered, he swiftly turned his head away. His heartbeat quickened ever so slightly that he barely noticed. 

This happens time and time again and it’s driving him crazy. 

What does this mean?

Letting out another frustrated sigh, Daniel sits up in his bed and looks at the clock. It’s 2 am. He looks around the unfamiliar room. Jisung and Seongwoo are already quietly snoring in their beds. When he decides that sleep won’t come, Daniel gets up and walks out of their shared room. He makes his way to the kitchen when he notices a dark figure in the living room. Unrecognizable from this distance, only lit up by the dim light of the TV. After quickly pouring himself a glass of water, he heads over to the living room. 

It’s Minhyun. 

_Of course it is._ Daniel thinks to himself. _Just the person I wanted to see._ He thinks that the world has something against him. Still, he quietly shuffles his way to the couch. Awkwardly he stands there. When Minhyun doesn’t notice his presence, he decides to speak up.

“Hyung, what are you doing out here so late?” Daniel asks as he takes a seat next to him. 

Minhyun jumps at the sudden voice and looks over to see the younger boy. 

“Oh, it’s you. You scared me.” Minhyun puts a hand to his chest and leans back against the couch.

“You shouldn’t scare people like that. I almost had a heart attack.” Daniel can see the teasing grin on the other boys face and it makes him smile. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to. But seriously, why are you still up?” 

“I guess I just couldn’t sleep. It just takes me a while to adjust to sleeping in new places.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

There’s a brief moment of silence as both members sit facing the screen. Minhyun is watching some sort of documentary and Daniel doesn’t really understand what it’s about.

After a few mintues, Minhyun breaks the silence. 

“Why are you up? Can’t sleep either?”

“Yeah, something like that. There’s just a lot of things going on in my mind right now… you know, about debuting and stuff…” _Big emphasis on stuff._

Minhyun looks over the younger boy with a big smile and bright eyes. Daniel can feel his chest tighten.

“I remember how excited I was about debuting. My heart was all over the place the whole week before. I couldn’t sleep either. It must be so exciting for you, since it’s so new. But don’t worry, you’ll do great.” Minhyun lets out a short breathy laugh as he looks up at the ceiling with nostalgia in his eyes. 

From this angle, Daniel can see the silhouette of the older boy’s profile. From the sharpness of his nose to his prominent jawline. Thoughts flood through Daniel’s head all at once, they muddle and clutter his mind. But there’s one thought that screams the loudest, that Minhyun is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.

“It’s going to be so weird doing it all over again.” The older boy continues as he shifts around so his body is now facing Daniel, head leaning against the couch. 

“But at least I got all of you guys with me. I mean, Produce 101 was an emotional rollercoaster ride, but in the end I think things turned out perfectly.” He flashes Daniel an award-winning smile. 

Daniel can feel his heart starting to race, and returns Minhyun’s smile. 

“Yeah. I’m really glad you made it, hyung.” 

Minhyun puts his arms around Daniel and pulls him into a hug. 

“Look at us, being all sentimental.” 

Daniel can feel Minhyun shake as he laughs. Not wanting the moment to end, Daniel tightens his arms around the other and places his head on Minhyun’s shoulder. This only makes Minhyun laugh more.

“You know, I owe a lot to you. It’s because you chose me to be in your team that so many people started to notice me.” 

Minhyun is rubbing his bandmates back. 

“No, it wasn’t because of me. It was because of you. People noticed your talent and that’s why they chose to vote for you. I know for a fact that the outcome would’ve been exactly the same even if you had been on another team.”

“Maybe. But it still wouldn’t have been the same.”

Daniel lifts his head and looks into Minhyun’s eyes. 

“I’m really glad you chose me that day.”

Minhyun smiles and speaks softly.

“Yeah, me too.” He ruffles the younger boy’s hair.

Minhyun turns his attention back to the screen and continues to watch his documentary as Daniel cozily snuggles next to him on the couch. Arms clung tightly around the older boy’s waist and head comfortably resting against his chest. A fond smile forms on Minhyun’s face as he occasionally looks down at the younger boy, who’s slowly nodding off to sleep. 

Despite Daniel’s conflicted and confused feelings, he still enjoys being in Minhyun’s embrace. It makes him feel safe and warm. It’s moments like these that he loves the most, where it’s just the two of them. And with all the crazy things going on, it’s been hard to have this time together.


	2. Denial

Daniel wakes up to the sight of Minhyun’s face. He looks around and realizes they’re still on the couch, laying face to face. He looks down to see that there’s an arm resting on his waist but he doesn’t really feel like moving it because the weight of it feels nice. 

The sunlight is streaming through the windows right onto the older boy’s face. Daniel tries hard to hold in his laughter as he looks at Minhyun’s hair. It’s poking out in a hundred different directions, and he revels in how young it makes him look. Hoping not to wake his bandmate, Daniel carefully slides his fingers through the dark hair trying to fix it. It’s soft and he wishes he could run his hands through it all day. 

Suddenly he hears a door opening and he immediately stands straight up, waking up Minhyun in the process. 

“Huh? Is it morning already?” Minhyun asks lazily as he rubs his eyes. 

Daniel tries to calm himself down, his heart is racing at 100 miles per hour. 

“Uh, yeah. I guess it is.” Daniel tries to not let his voice shake.

Minhyun sits up on the couch, the back of his hair still sticking out. He looks around with confused and half open eyes, trying to remember why he was there.

“Oh, I guess we both fell asleep on the couch last night. Ugh, I didn’t even get to finish watching that documentary.”

Jisung walks into the living room and sits down next to Minhyun.

“How can you watch that stuff? It’s soooo boring. And Daniel, why are you just standing there?”

Daniel panics. “J… just getting ready to go take a shower.” He runs out of the living room.

Hoping that a long shower will help calm him down, Daniel steps into the bathroom. He looks into the mirror, there’s a slight pink tint to his cheeks. _I don’t even know how I feel anymore._ Daniel thinks. He presses his back against the door and slides down onto the floor. Trying to straighten out his thoughts, Daniel puts his head in his hands.

 _Am I attracted to him? Or do I just enjoy being around him? Am I in love with him? Or do I just really like him?_ So many questions circle his mind. No. No. Daniel definitely doesn’t think that he is in love, he can’t imagine himself in that type of relationship with him. The thought of kissing or doing anything romantic with Minhyun has never even crossed his mind. Daniel just shakes his head. 

Instead of figuring anything out, he just steps into the shower hoping the hot water and steam will help clear his mind. However, he ends up stepping out of the shower with more questions than when he first stepped in. 

Daniel finishes changing into his clothes and steps into the living room where the rest of the members are already gathered. He looks around and spots Seongwoo in the back, patting the seat next to him. Slowly he walks over and takes a seat next to his friend.

“Dude, what took you so long? You were in the shower for like an hour?”

“Oh, sorry. I guess I was just lost in thought.” Daniel mumbles, as his eyes search the room for Minhyun. 

He spots him in the kitchen with Jaehwan. Those two have always been inseparable so it’s not surprising. He can’t help but stare and wonder what they’re talking about because Minhyun’s face lights up and suddenly he’s laughing, showing his perfect teeth. The hair on the back of his head is still sticking out everywhere, and Daniel finds himself wanting to go fix it. But Jaehwan is already on his toes, running his hands through the crumpled hair. Daniel feels a pang in his gut, and before he can give that feeling any thought, there are two hands in front of his face, waving frantically. He turns his attention away from the kitchen, and looks at Seongwoo, who desperately trying to get his attention. 

“Did you even hear a single word I said? What is up with you lately? I feel like you’ve been out of it.”

Daniel shakes his head. “No, I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep that well last night.”

Seongwoo looks at him suspiciously. “Okay, whatever you say. But anyways, what are you going to do over your break?”

“Nothing really. I’m going to stay at the dorm but my parents said they’d come and visit.”

“What? This is our last break before we debut. After these 3 days it’s all work from here on out. We’ll be so busy. Don’t you want to go home at least?” Seongwoo looks at him worriedly.

“Relax. I just prefer to stay here at the dorm. My parents don’t live that far away anyways, so it’ll be easy for them to come and visit.” Daniel gives Seongwoo a reassuring smile.

“Well alright. But hey, look on the bright side, at least you won’t be alone.”

Daniel gives a confused look. “What do you mean? Someone else is going to stay here too?”

“Jaehwan and Minhyun are staying. So you won’t get lonely being in this big dorm.” Seongwoo gives a big bright smile. 

“Great.” Daniel says with a smile, but he definitely feels anything but that.

Soon the dorm is filled with the sound of scrambling feet and zippers as the rest of the members hastily pack their bags. By dinner time, the members are out the door, leaving only three behind. The day had been filled with hustling for lost belonging and short goodbyes.

Finally having time to relax, Daniels decides to lay down on the couch while some random program is playing on the TV. He’s staring at the ceiling and trying to count the random specks when he hears a giggle come from the kitchen. Curious as to what’s going on, he sits up and looks into the kitchen. There he sees Jaehwan tickling Minhyun, as he is attempting to grab an egg the taller boy is waving over his head. 

Daniel was so busy helping his bandmates pack, that he completely forgot he wouldn’t be alone for the next 3 days. He also can’t help but feel that same pang in his gut as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. Just as he is about to lay back down, to remain out of sight, Minhyun catches his eye. 

“Daniel, we’re making ramyeon. You want some?” Daniel can feel his heart skip a beat when Minhyun smiles at him. 

“Uh, no thanks. I’m fine. I’m not really hungry.” That’s a lie, but Daniel doesn’t really want to deal with this right now.

“Come onnn~ I make the best ramyeon. You can even have the last egg.” Minhyun wiggles the egg tauntingly in front of Jaehwans face, as the shorter boy continues his attempts to steal it once again.

Daniel can’t help but smile at the offer. “Okay, fine. Your ramyeon better be as good as you say it is.”

“I’ve never disappointed. I do make the best ramyeon after all.” Minhyun sends him a cocky smirk. 

_This is definitely going to be an interesting 3 days._ Daniel thinks to himself as he walks over to the kitchen.


	3. Moments

The thing about Minhyun is that he’s clingy, so Daniel shouldn’t really be surprised when he walks out of his room the next morning to see the older boy hanging off of Jaehwan, who’s too immersed on the screen to even notice. But something about seeing Jaehwan in Minhuyn’s arms reminds Daniel of the other night. A bittersweet smile forms on his face as he remembers that moment.

Daniel shakes his head. _He was only trying to comfort me. Nothing more._ It’s not like he had felt special that night. Even when Minhyun’s long arms were wrapped around his body. Or when it felt like for a single moment, only the two of them existed in the world. _He’s like this with everyone._ Daniel has to remind himself. With a disgruntled sigh, Daniel makes his way to the living room and sits himself down on a smaller couch next to his two bandmates. 

Jaehwan notices the younger boy sitting down, and flashes him a smile. “Had enough sleep? I’m truly amazed that someone can actually manage to wake up at 1 in the afternoon.”

Daniel frantically checks the clock on the wall. “Wow, I didn’t even realize.” He brings up a hand to run through his hair awkwardly. “I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t go to sleep last night so I was up pretty late.” That’s a lie. He knew exactly why.

It was partially because without Seongwoo and Jisung, his room felt empty and bigger than it had the night before. But it was mostly because in that quiet, quiet room he couldn’t stop the thoughts from flooding through his mind. His mind kept flashing back to Jaehwan and Minhyun, he couldn’t ignore that pang he had felt in his stomach. What did it mean? _Was he jealous?_ That single question left Daniel staring at the ceiling for hours and hours.

Snapped back into reality, he looks up and is met with Minhyun’s worried gaze. “You know, since everyone is gone you can sleep in our room. We have 3 open beds and I’m sure the guys wouldn’t mind if you used one of their beds.”

“Yeah, you should. I don’t even know why you slept in that room all by yourself last night. Wasn’t it lonely?” Jaehwan adds.

Daniel forces a smile. “No, it’s fine. I like having time alone sometimes.”

Both boys look apprehensively at him, but decide to not push him further. The members sit awkwardly in silence.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. I’m going to go visit my family tonight, so I’ll probably be back tomorrow morning.” Jaehwan speaks up, trying to lighten the mood.

“That’s great! How long has it been since you’ve seen them?” Minhyun asks excitedly. 

Jaehwan has a big smile on his face. “I haven’t seen them since Produce 101 ended.” 

The conversation continues on between the two but Daniel isn’t really paying any attention because if Jaehwan is going to be gone tonight, that means he’ll be alone with Minhyun. His stomach does a flip. Secretly he’d been wishing for time to spend with his hyung, but now he’s not so sure if he can deal with it. Yet again he is lost in thought, until he is forced back into reality when Jaehwan gets up. 

“I gotta hurry up and pack.” He looks at the clock. “I only have 1 hour before I have to go catch the bus.” And with that he disappears into his room.

Before he knew it Jaehwan is out the door and gone. Daniel and Minhyun awkwardly walk back to the living room, after seeing their bandmate out, and both plop down onto the couch. Suddenly Daniel’s heart is beating fast. _Why am I like this?_ It’s not like it had been the first time he had been alone with the older boy, but in the midst of all his confusion, his feelings were all over the place. He can feel the awkwardness seeping in the air. _Why am I being so awkward? This is Minhyun hyung. Your friend._

Daniel looks at Minhyun, who is already looking at him. Trying to bring up the mood, Daniel puts on a playful smile. “You in the mood for a movie?”

All the tension in the room dissipates the instant that Minhyun’s perfect smile is put on display. “Yeah, I am.”

A feeling of relief fills Daniel's body. Quickly he gets off the couch and pops in a DVD. Throughout the movie, all of Daniel’s worries seemed to disappear. He stops thinking and just enjoys it. He enjoys leaning against Minhyun and feeling his warmth as the older boy swings an arm around his shoulder. He enjoys the sound of Minhyun’s warm laugh that he can feel throughout his body. And most importantly, he enjoys being right here, in this moment, with someone he cares about. The two end up watching 3 movies, and by the time the last one is over it’s already midnight. Carefully the two get up and slowly slink away to their respective bedrooms. 

Daniel is pulling the sheets over his body when he hears a soft tapping at his door.


	4. Problems

The soft tapping on Daniel’s door surprises him. There’s only one person it could be and the thought makes his heart jump. Apprehensively he gets himself out of bed and makes his way over to the door. Slowly he opens it, and is met with the sight of Minhyun. The older boy is nervously smiling at the younger. 

“Uh, is it alright if I sleep in your room tonight? I mean, with Jaehwan gone the room feels really empty and kind of creepy. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep and…” Minhyun keeps rambling and Daniel finds it very endearing. 

“Yeah, it’s cool. You can take the bottom bunk over there. I’m sure hyung won’t mind.” Daniel tries to sound nonchalant, while he’s making his way towards his own single bed, but inside his heart is aggressively beating against his chest. 

Minhyun’s face shines brightly as he smiles. “Okay, thanks.” Quickly shuffling over to the bed and plopping down onto the mattress. 

“Well, uh, goodnight hyung.” Daniel says while he pulls the blanket over his body, turning towards the wall so he is facing away from the older boy.

“Goodnight.” 

Then there’s silence.

Daniel doesn’t know how much time has passed but he’s pretty sure he’s been staring at this wall for a few hours. He doesn’t feel a single ounce of sleep coming, but at this point he’s already used to that feeling. He’s used to these nights where no matter how long he lays in bed, sleep never comes. Sleepless nights have become a habit of his, where long hours suddenly feel like an eternity and the silence is deafening. But that silence is suddenly broken when he hears a quiet, hushed voice.

“Daniel… Are you still awake?”

He contemplates whether or not he should reply. Suddenly his mouth is dry and his grip on the blanket tightens.

“Yeah.” He quietly says after a couple minutes, secretly hoping the other has already fallen asleep. Daniel continues to stare at the wall, waiting for a response. Silence. Then he hears it. The sound of springs, then small footsteps. He feels the mattress dip down behind him. Quickly he flips around and is met face to face with the older boy. Minhyun is lying next to him and the look of unease on his face makes Daniel’s stomach twist. _Why is he looking at me like that?_ And before he could figure out what it could mean, Minhyun slowly brings his hand up and places it on the younger boy’s cheek. 

“I’m worried about you.” 

Daniel doesn’t say anything. 

“If there’s anything wrong, you know you can talk to me.” The older boy’s voice is genuine and filled with concern. The hand on Daniel’s face moves as Minhyun brushes his thumb under the younger boy’s eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping lately.” The dark bags under his eyes are evidence of that fact. He’s surprised he noticed and suddenly he feels vulnerable. Like Minhyun could read his feelings through his eyes. 

Daniel wants to turn away when tears threaten to fill his eyes, but he keeps it together. “There’s just been a lot on my mind lately.” He tries to avoid eye contact, he can’t stand to look at those sad, worried eyes. But Minhyun's hand is bringing his face up to meet his gaze.

“You know you don’t have to go through this by yourself. I’m right here and whatever the problem is, I'll always be here for you.” 

But that’s the thing, Minhyun is the problem. He’s the reason that Daniel stays up at night lost in thought. He’s the reason that Daniel’s so confused to the point of frustration. And most importantly, he’s the reason that Daniel is such a mess. Even with that being said, he still can’t bring himself to hate the older boy. Any other sane person would try to avoid Minhyun at all costs, but Daniel could never do that because even as he lays here, frustrated with Minhyun, he can’t help but hope this moment would never end. 

With a smile, Daniel places his hand over the slightly bigger one that’s resting on his cheek. “Thank you.” He pauses.

“But some problems I think I’ve got to figure out on my own.” And it’s true. As much as he appreciated Minhyun’s words, this was a problem he’d have to solve on his own. 

Minhyun gives him a look that shows he understands. Slowly, he slides his hand down from Daniel’s cheek to the nape of his neck and pulls in the boy gently towards his chest. The older boy buries his face into Daniel’s hair and whispers. “You make me worry too much.”

Daniel can’t help but laugh as he wraps his arms around the older boy. “I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.” He says jokingly. 

“I know you can, but that doesn’t mean you always have to.” Minhyun whispers again, in a more serious tone than Daniel was expecting. It warmed his heart that Minhyun cared about him, he felt a small smile on his lips.

“Yeah, yeah old man. Let’s just go to sleep.” Daniel teases. 

“I’m only one year older than you! I’m not old.” Minhyun sounds offended and it makes Daniel laugh. 

Daniel buries his head into the older boy’s chest. He can hear a steady and strong heartbeat, it soothes him. Minhyun laughs at the cute action. The last thing Daniel remembers is a warm hand at the nape of his neck before he’s fast asleep.


	5. Morning

When Daniel opens his eyes the first thing he notices is that he feels fully rested, something that he hasn’t felt in quite a while. He wonders why, but he doesn’t have to search far because the answer is right in front of him. It’s Minhyun. He looks up at the boy who still has him entrapped within his long arms. _How can someone who is the cause of all my stress be the one who can take it away so easily?_ Daniel wonders. 

He feels the corners of his mouth twitch upwards as he stares at the older boy. The sound of Minhyun’s steady breath and the warmth of his arm resting against Daniel’s waist brings butterflies to his stomach. Being this close, Daniel can see all the details of Minhyun’s face. His dark lashes, the sharp angles of his face, his milky white complexion, and most importantly, his lips. Daniel had never really thought about kissing Minhyun. The idea never crossed his mind. But when he was this close, he couldn’t help but wonder. 

_What would it be like?_

Before he realizes what he’s doing, he finds himself trying to reach out. Daniel’s hand freezes midair at the realization of his action. Quickly he retracts his arm, heart beating fast. _What was I about to do?_ Daniel finds himself panicking. He needed to get out of here. He needed to get away from Minhyun. He carefully tries to leave but the arm at his waist tightens, pulling him back into bed and closer to the older boy. 

“Stay.” Minhyun says groggily with his eyes still closed. “You’re warm.”

Daniel can feel a blush creeping on to his cheeks. “Okay.” He tries hard to not let his voice waver. 

They lay together in silence, as Minhyun slowly falls back to sleep. But while Daniel's laying down, he notices that something feels off. The mood in the room feels different. The arm at his waist suddenly feels like it’s weighing him down. And Daniel can’t help but be very conscious of how close the two are. Instead of butterflies, he feels a twisting sensation in his stomach. It was all different. _Why?_ He thinks back to just moments ago. Why had Daniel reached out for Minhyun? Why does the older boy make him so damn confused? _Why can’t I get enough of him?_ Then in that single moment, it hits him and he really wishes it didn’t. It was like all of these feelings suddenly started to add up, and it all made sense. 

_I’m falling in love with Minhyun._

Those words echo loudly through Daniel’s brain and he feels like he has a headache. He feels like he should be surprised, but strangely he’s not. He’s mostly mad. Mad that he didn’t realize sooner, and mad that he let it get this far. He should’ve stayed away. He should’ve known to stay away the moment he first laid eyes on him. But really, he’s just mad that he feels this way because he knows it’s never going to happen. Daniel can feel a sharp pain in his heart as reality hits him. 

_I don’t expect anything from him._

Daniel finds himself moving closer to the sleeping boy, finding warmth within long arms. He can feel tears prickling his eyes. _Don’t cry._ Trying to get closer, Daniel burrows his face into the fabric of Minhyun’s shirt. He can feel the older boy stirring in his sleep, but he doesn’t care. 

_This is enough for me._ Daniel thinks as he holds the other boy close. 

Minhyun shifts a little as he wakes up, but he does not make any effort to push the younger boy away. It makes Daniel feel a little better. 

“What… what time is it?” Minhyun asks sleepily. 

Trying to compose himself, Daniel looks at the clock. “It’s almost noon.”

“Really? Wow. I’ve never slept in this late.”

Minhyun looks at Daniel.

“You fell asleep pretty fast last night.” Minhyun smiles and once again brings his hand to Daniel’s face, brushing his thumb under his eyes. The bags under his eyes are not as prominent. “You finally look well-rested.” He pauses then adds. “I’m glad.” Daniel can’t help but feel pained and happy at the same time. 

“Yeah.” He pauses for a moment, looking at anything but Minhyun’s eyes, searching for the right words to say. “Having you with me really helped.” His heart thuds in his chest as he waits for a response. When he is met with silence he nervously peeks out from under his lashes, and he sees Minhyun smiling. There's something different about this smile. He can't figure out what exactly. But Daniel thinks that if he was standing, his knees would have given out under him. 

Minhyun suddenly speaks. “I’m happy I could help. Remember, whenever you need me I’ll be right here, okay?” He’s giving that smile again and Daniel’s heart hurts. 

“Okay.” That’s all that Daniel can manage to say.

“I think it’s time to get up and make some breakfast, wait no, I mean lunch?” Minhyun quickly sits up in the bed, eyes still on Daniel. 

All of the sudden Daniel lets out a big laugh, his sadness disappearing with it as well. 

Minhyun looks confused. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Your...” Daniel’s laughing again. “Your hair.”

“Wh-what’s wrong with my hair?” Minhyun’s hands fly to his head. The left side of his hair is stuck to his face. Daniel thinks it’s cute, and can’t help but smile as he watches the flustered boy.

“Here. Let me help you.” Daniel sits up and moves closer. Carefully he moves the hair from the other boy’s face and runs his fingers through to straighten it out. He would be lying if said he wasn’t doing this with ulterior motives, but Minhyun’s hair is so soft and Daniel just doesn’t care at this point. So he takes the liberty of fixing his hair a little longer then he should have.

When Daniel is done, the other boy gives him a playful gaze. “Race you to the kitchen.”

“Hyung, the kitchen’s like 50 feet away.” Daniel tries to explain how ridiculous it is but Minhyun is already up. 

“Last one there has to do dishes for the rest of the day.”

This catches Daniel’s attention. “Deal.” And suddenly they’re both trying to squeeze out the narrow door to run into the kitchen. They’re both laughing and Daniel forgets all of his problems. It's moments like this that make it really easy put aside his complicated feelings and just be Minhyun’s friend.

And for now, Daniel was content with this. As long as he is able to stay by Minhyun’s side.


	6. Curveball

Daniel feels like he should be frowning when he looks at Minhyun chuckling. 

“This isn’t funny. You know I hate doing the dishes.” He wants to be mad that he lost, he really does, but seeing the older boy laugh makes it nearly impossible.

“Hey, you knew what you were getting yourself into when we made a deal.” Minhyun says with an evil smirk. Daniel tries to muster up his best puppy dog eyes.

“But hyungggg.”

Minhyun isn’t buying it. “No buts. Now you’ll finally understand how I feel every day. I work so hard to keep this dorm clean and no one appreciates it.” _Here he goes again._ Daniel is tempted to roll his eyes as the other boy goes on about the importance of cleanliness and the effort he puts into keeping things in order.

He puts his hand over the other boy’s mouth. “Alright, alright. I’ll do the dishes after we eat, okay? Are you happy now?” Minhyun slowly nods and with that Daniel removes his hand. 

Minhyun walks over to the fridge, opening it to look at its contents. 

“What do you feel like eating?” He looks again. “Actually, I don’t think there’s much choice. We need to go grocery shopping soon, but I think I can manage to make some fried rice, if that’s alright with you.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Daniel watches as the older boy grabs the ingredients from the fridge and closes the door with his hip as he walks over to the counter. Minhyun looks so natural in the kitchen, like he knows what he’s doing. From the way he carefully washes the vegetables to the skillful way he uses a knife. Daniel doesn’t even notice that he’d been staring until he hears a voice.

“If you’re going to just stand there, you might as well help me.” Minhyun looks at him and he feel himself getting flustered. 

“Um, okay. What do you want me to do?” 

“Go make the rice. I think there’s a bag in the pantry.” When Daniel just stares blankly, the older boy suddenly stops chopping. “Don’t tell me that you don’t know how to make rice.” Minhyun looks incredulous, the idea sounded completely ridiculous to him. 

Daniel just laughs nervously. “I don’t really cook that often, or like ever. But I’m sure it’s not that hard, I’ll figure it out.” He tries to make his way towards the pantry, but Minhyun stands in front of him, blocking his way. 

“Making perfect rice takes practice; I can’t leave it in the hands of a beginner. I can make the rice, just go finish chopping up the rest of the ingredients.” And so Daniel slowly chops away. 

When the plate of food is placed in front of him at the table, he can’t help but notice how awkwardly cut everything is. He looks at Minhyun, who sits down across from him, and gives him a nervous smile. 

“Sorry, I’m not very good with a knife.” 

Minhyun laughs. “Don’t worry about it, the way it looks doesn’t affect the way it tastes.”

And he was right, despite the not-so-great presentation it was delicious. Daniel never knew that Minhyun was such a great cook, and it made him happy that he was still discovering new things about the older boy. He felt eager knowing that there were still parts of Minhyun he didn’t know, because he wanted to learn more.

Daniel finishes eating first, so he brings his plate over to the sink and turns the faucet on. There is a small pile of dishes from the other night. _I hate this so much._ Daniel thinks as he is desperately trying to scrub a dish clean. Suddenly someone’s putting another plate into the sink and Daniel sends a death glare to the culprit. Minhyun just laughs as he leans against the counter, right next to the younger boy. 

“How’s it going so far?” He can hear the amusement in Minhyun’s voice.

“Great. Just great. I just love scraping yesterday’s leftovers off of this plate.” Daniel’s voice is dripping with sarcasm as he holds up said plate. Minhyun can’t help but to laugh at the other boy. Instead of responding, he just stands there and watches Daniel as he continues scrubbing, occasionally adding in a “you missed a spot” every once in a while. That irks Daniel.

But when he's finally done, Daniel looks down at his soapy, wrinkly fingers and he gets an idea. An evil smile forms on his face, making Minhyun feel uneasy. 

“Wh-why are you smiling like that? It’s kind of creeping me out.”

Immediately the younger boy puts on an innocent face. “Nothing, hyung. I’m just really glad you taught me the importance of cleaning. Come here, give me a hug.” Daniel holds out his wet hands, trying to grab at the other boy. 

Minhyun is dodging hands left and right. “No, it’s fine. No need for that.” Laughing nervously as he tries backing away but Daniel is persistent in his pursuit, so Minhyun reaches out and grabs the younger boy’s wrists to contain him. 

“Why not, hyung?” He tries to reach for Minhyun but the grip on his wrists is too strong and he can’t move. “Come on.” With all of his strength he tries to get closer, and he manages to move an inch. He feels victorious so he looks to Minhyun. Daniel’s smile immediately disappears when he notices how close their faces are. If he pushed himself forward another inch, they would be kissing. His heart starts racing. _You idiot. What are you doing?_ Minhyun looks perplexed and it makes Daniel’s heart beat even faster. 

_I need to get out of here._ Scared that Minhyun can feel his pulsing heartbeat through his wrists, Daniel tries to wiggle his way out. Then something surprising happens. Minhyun tightens his grip, keeping Daniel in place. He feels tension in the room. With the same perplexed look, Minhyun continues to stare at the younger boy. Daniel is so confused. _Why won’t he let me go?_ Just as he opens his mouth to ask, he hears the sound of the front door opening. Finally Minhyun lets go of him, with an unreadable look on his face. The two continue to stare at each other until Jaehwan comes and finds them. 

“What are you two doing here?” 

In an instant, Minhyun is back to normal, like nothing ever happened. “Nothing really. Just finished eating.” And he walks away to greet the other boy. 

Daniel continues to stand in the kitchen, more confused now than ever. Just when he thought he had figured everything out, life just had to throw another curveball at him.


	7. Confession

The rest of the day felt like a blur to Daniel. He could barely process anything. Minhyun acted like nothing happened, he was laughing and talking to him like everything was normal. It wasn’t. Daniel really wanted to shake the older boy and scream at him. His mind kept replaying that morning over and over again. Millions of questions plagued his mind. _What would have happened if Jaehwan hadn’t come?_ The curiosity is killing him. The tension, the way the older boy wouldn’t let go, that look on his face. 

_What did it all mean?_

He feels like yelling. Daniel thought he was done with these sleepless nights now that he finally has everything figured out. But here he is, yet again, lying awake and overthinking things. _It was probably nothing._ And realistically, that was most likely the case, but Daniel can’t help but find himself wishing that maybe it meant something more. That maybe the older boy felt it too. Felt how close the two were. He hoped Minhyun had noticed the small distance between their lips. And that maybe, just maybe, the other boy wanted to kiss him too. 

Daniel lets out a silent laugh. _Yeah right._ As much as he wanted for that to be true, he couldn’t fool himself into believing it. He feels regret sinking into his stomach. He wishes that he hadn't let his emotions get in the way. Instead of enjoying time with Jaehwan and Minhyun, he was lost in his thoughts. Today was one of the last days before everyone came back, and he threw it away because he was caught up in his stupid fantasies. A single moment that probably meant nothing to the older boy, but for some reason it meant a lot to him. 

_It’s never going to happen. Get it through your head._

And he knows. Yet, every time the realization hits him the pain is always the same. Daniel feels a tear fall as he closes his eyes, begging that sleep will come and quiet his mind. But not even a minute passes before he hears the door gently opening. Daniel already knows who it is. _Why are you here? Go away._ He wants to scream those words because for the first time ever, Minhyun is the last person he wants to see right now. 

“Are you awake?” Minhyun whispers as he peeks out from behind the door.

Daniel is really tempted to just pretend he’s asleep. To just wait until the older boy leaves the room. But there’s something about Minhyun’s voice that weakens his heart. His stupid, stupid heart that’s a fool for the older boy. He hates that he’s like this, and he hates himself even more when he pulls back the blanket and pats the place next to him in bed. Daniel really hopes this doesn’t become a new habit because he doesn’t think he can do it anymore. 

Minhyun carefully makes his way next to Daniel. “Sorry for intruding, but you know Jaehwan. His snoring is the worst.” He tries to make a joke but the younger boy doesn’t feel like laughing.

“Yeah, let’s just go to sleep.” He tries to sound as detached as possible. Minhyun doesn’t say anything, instead he shifts himself to find a more comfortable position, facing Daniel. That causes the younger boy to immediately flip over, to face the wall. He continues to stare at the wall, for what seems like hours, until he thinks it’s safe to peek over his shoulder. When it looks like Minhyun is sleeping, the younger boy slowly turns his body. 

It’s kind of funny how familiar it feels as Daniel stares at his sleeping bandmate. He feels like the world is playing a big joke on him. Taunting him by placing what he wants right in front of his eyes, but never within reach. He feels like he’s going to explode at this point, with everything bottled up inside of him. He needed to let it out, even if no one is listening. Carefully Daniel brushes away a stray hair from Minhyun’s face. 

“Why do you make me feel this way?” He whispers quietly. 

It was a rhetorical question because Daniel already knew the answer. There was an endless amount of reasons why he found himself falling for Minhyun. There were small things like his laugh or his smile. Daniel always loved how he could light up an entire room with a simple grin. But not only was Minhyun beautiful on the outside, he was on the inside as well. The older boy always knew when something was wrong. He cared so much about others, always putting everyone before himself. It was very admirable. Daniel remembers the day when Minhyun had comforted him after he had gotten last place during their first group battle. He was at one of his lowest points, and felt like he wanted to quit. _I don't think Minhyun knows how much he saved me back then._ That was when Daniel realized that the older boy was special. It makes him smile thinking back to that memory.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers so quietly he can barely hear it.

“I’m so sorry.” And really, he’s sorry about a lot of things. He’s sorry that he’s been a complete emotional mess these past couple of days. He’s sorry that he’s been so out of it. And he’s sorry that he let his feelings get in the way of their friendship. 

“I think I’m falling in love with you, hyung.”

But most importantly, he’s sorry that he let it get this far. 

This is closest he’ll ever be to confessing. Here, in the dark, whispering his feelings to a boy who can’t even hear a word he's saying. And it sucks, it really does. But Daniel would rather keep it all inside than risk ruining their friendship. Minhyun rejecting him would break his heart and he's not sure if he could live with that. It's alright though. Maybe as time passes, his feelings will fade away as well. Maybe someone else will come along and snatch his heart away. Someone who is not Minhyun. As much as that pains him to think of, it's the best case scenario. But for now, the older boy has his heart and there's not much he can do about it. 

Daniel turns back around to sleep, completely unaware that the boy next to him heard every single word.


	8. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhuyn's POV

Minhyun doesn’t know what he’s doing in front of Daniel’s door. It's probably because he can’t seem to get his mind off of the younger boy. Ever since Jaehwan came back, something felt off about Daniel. He refused to meet his gaze and kept quiet the whole entire day. It worried him. 

_Was it because of this morning?_

To be honest, Minhyun felt like a mad man when he was holding the younger boy in his grip. The two always mess around with each other but somehow that time felt different. It was all fun and games until Daniel had looked up into his eyes and his bright smile disappeared. _Why?_ He tried to study the younger boy’s face and figure why it felt so off. When Daniel tried wiggling out of his grip, he found himself holding on even tighter. 

_Why can’t I figure you out?_

Minhyun hated that he never knew what the younger boy was thinking. He especially hated it when he knew there was something wrong. It frustrated him to no end that Daniel kept everything bottled up. _I’m right here. Why won’t you tell me anything?_ He wanted to scream those words out. 

When he heard Jaehwan at the door, he instantly let go of the younger boy. The sound had brought him back to reality. Then he felt it. The tension that seeped into the air and surrounded them. _Did I go too far?_ Daniel’s eyes were filled with nervousness and a hint of something else. He didn’t understand and it confused him. But when Jaehwan walked in Minhyun found himself acting like everything was normal, that the room wasn’t filled with unanswered questions.

In hindsight, it might have not been the best idea but he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t want things to be awkward between them, so he pretended like nothing happened, hoping that things would naturally go back to normal. But it turns out that ignoring the problem only makes it worse. So now here he is, standing outside Daniel’s door, wondering how this is going to fix anything. 

Quietly he opens the door, peeking his head inside. 

“Are you awake?” He whispers. Daniel’s figure shifts a little in the dark. After a couple of seconds, the younger boy lifts the blanket, patting the spot next to him in bed. Minhyun lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Happily, he walks over, and lays down. _This is good. This means we’re okay._

“Sorry for intruding, but you know Jaehwan. His snoring is the worst.” It’s sort of the truth, but mostly it’s a lie. Minhyun's used to the snoring and, at this point, he doesn’t even hear it anymore. But he wants to make Daniel laugh, to see him smile. 

He is met with a cold, detatched voice.

“Yeah, let’s just go to sleep.” 

It hurts. He wants to say something back but the tone of Daniel’s voice gives him the idea that it’s the end of the discussion. _Maybe he’s just tired._ He decides not to push any further and shifts until he’s comfortable, but still facing Daniel. Minhyun wants things go back to normal, for the younger boy to move closer and bury his head against his chest like he always does. But strangely yet again, he is met with coldness as Daniel flips around. 

Minhyun’s now staring at Daniel’s back and can’t comprehend the situation he’s in. _Did I upset him that much?_ He wants to reach out and embrace the boy. _I’m sorry._ The words are on the tip of his tongue but he can’t find it in himself to say them. It’s his fault that this happened. Maybe he’d been too aggressive and scared the younger boy. But the thing is, he can’t help it. Sometimes Daniel just drove him crazy. Crazy to the point where he worries about him constantly. 

He just wants Daniel to be okay. 

Ever since they’ve moved into their dorm, Daniel has just been completely out of it. No one else noticed, but Minhyun did. It hurt his heart seeing the poor boy every morning looking restless. He knew something was wrong and it felt like a slap to the face when the younger boy would say that everything was okay. But what upset him the most is that he couldn’t do anything to take away Daniel’s troubles. And so it especially stings when the younger boy shuts him out like this. 

Feeling drained, Minhyun closes his eyes. He lays there in silence, trying to push back his worries so he can sleep. Just when he feels himself drifting off, he feels a feather-like touch on his face. At first he thought he imagined it, but then he hears a soft whisper.

“Why do you make me feel this way?”

 _Feel what way?_ Minhyun can think of a million possibilities for where this is headed. His instincts are telling him that he shouldn’t be listening to this, that this isn’t meant for his ears. But curiosity gets the best of him. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He almost opens his eyes when he hears those words. Anger is building up inside of him. _Sorry for what?_ Daniel has done nothing wrong, if anything Minhyun should be one saying sorry. _Don’t say sorry to me._ He’s about to open his eyes and yell at the younger boy when he hears it. 

“I think I’m falling in love with you, hyung.”

The anger dissipates in an instant. _Love?_ His mind goes completely blank. Suddenly everything makes sense, but at the same time, nothing makes sense. _In love? With me?_ He doesn’t know how to feel, he’s lost for thoughts. _What does it even mean to be in love?_ Minhyun wouldn’t know; he’s been so busy with his life he’s never had time to think about it. When it came to this subject, he was absolutely clueless. He doesn't know how to react to a confession like this.

His thoughts shift to Daniel. _Why me?_ The younger boy was like a puzzle that he couldn’t quite solve. No matter how hard he tried, he could never get him to open up. But now it all makes sense, why Daniel wouldn’t let him in. It hurt Minhyun’s heart knowing that the younger boy had to deal with these feelings by himself. But it hurt even more that Daniel thought he had to apologize for how he felt. _Never apologize for how you feel._

But now that he knows what’s troubling Daniel, he feels like it’s only right to figure out his feelings as well. The best thing he can do for the younger boy, at this point, is understanding where he stands with him. He doesn't want to string Daniel along and keep hurting him.

So how did he feel about Daniel? 

It was an undeniable fact that he cared about the boy. He'd be lying if he said that Daniel wasn't special to him. And as much as he hates to admit it, he had a soft spot for the younger boy. Ever since he first laid eyes on Daniel, he’d been rooting for him. There was a certain determination that he had seen in Daniel's eyes that reminded him of himself. It's what made Daniel stand out from all the other trainees and it's what made him choose the younger boy for his team. But also it’s what drew him to Daniel, like a magnet. He saw a lot of himself in the younger boy, but also so much more. Endless potential, that Daniel could yet see in himself. And before he knew it, they had become friends. Of all his bandmates, Minhyun enjoyed being with Daniel the most, although he'd never admit it out loud.

_But love?_

Minhyun isn’t sure. Even so, hearing Daniel’s confession doesn’t make him want to stay away. In fact, in some way, it makes him want to be closer to the younger boy. Maybe it might be selfish, but he’s happy that Daniel doesn’t hate him. He’d been stressed the whole day, worried that he'd done something wrong. But that's not the case. So he’s really happy right now and he feels terrible because he knows that Daniel is going through a tough time. _And it’s all because of me._

So how does he feels about Daniel being in love with him? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know and he hates it because the least the other boy deserves is a straight answer, not the vague answer he'd give him right now. _So what do I do?_ Because morning will come, and he'll soon have to face the other boy. The best solution he can think of is to stay away because keeping Daniel by his side won't help either of them. And as much as that pains him to think about, it's what he needs to do. He needs time for himself to figure everything out. He can’t be around Daniel when he’s uncertain about where he stands because he knows it’s just going to cause more pain. And Minhyun thinks he's hurt Daniel enough. 

So Minhyun gets himself off of the bed, looking back at the sleeping boy. And with a bittersweet heart, he quietly makes his way back to his own bed.


	9. Alone

When Daniel wakes up, the first thing he sees is a white wall. It’s blank and empty, cold and devoid of any emotions. 

It makes him feel lonely. 

These past couple of days he could feel himself slipping away. Distancing himself from everyone and building a barrier around his heart. Like last night. _I pushed Minhyun away._ The words echoed in his mind and he can feel his heart tighten. The boy who was once the closest to his heart is now the one boy he wants the furthest from it. He feels guilt wash over him when he remembers how cold he acted. But he had to do it and he hated it. There was once a time when he shared all of his troubles with the older boy. Daniel remembers the late night conversations when they’d share their deepest, darkest secrets. 

_But things are different now._

Daniel can’t fully open himself up to Minhyun anymore because no matter how much he tells the older boy, he will always be leaving out the most important detail. He hates it because he wants to be honest, to let it all out. But things will never be the same if he did. He needs Minhyun by his side. So the best he can do is to keep it locked away, deep inside his heart and never let anyone touch it. Even if it means isolating a piece of himself.

Still, Daniel feels guilty for the way he acted. No matter how complicated things are, he still wanted to be there for Minhyun. He promised himself that no matter what, he would always be there for him. But last night, he let his emotions cloud his judgement. He took out the pent up anger building inside of him and let it out on the older boy. That wasn’t the right thing to do. It’s not Minhyun’s fault that he was falling in love with him. 

_It’s my fault._

Daniel hasn’t heard or felt the other boy moving, so he assumes Minhyun is still asleep. It brings a small smile to his lips knowing that even when he felt this loneliness, the older boy was still by his side. Carefully he turns around and when he looks for the sleeping figure, he is met with disappointment. He feels his stomach drop. 

_He’s not there._

Daniel feels the sheets and they’re cold. Cold and empty. He lets out a dry laugh because of course. Of course. Why would the boy want to stay with him after the way he treated him? Yet again, this was all his fault. _All my fault._ The words circle his mind. _I ruined everything._ The pessimistic thoughts fill Daniel’s head and he hates it. Lately, it feels as though all the positivity has been sucked out of his mind. But no more. He doesn’t want to wallow in his own pity and sorrow. 

With a quick movement, Daniel sits up in his bed. He tries to conjure up positive thoughts.

 _Maybe Minhyun already woke up._

_That’s why he’s not here._

_He didn’t leave me._

_He didn’t._

_He wouldn’t. ___

When Daniel walks out of his room, Minhyun will be wide awake in the living room. Maybe watching one of those documentaries that he doesn’t understand. And when he meets the other boy’s gaze, he’ll give Daniel that warm smile. Because nothing is wrong. Everything will be normal. So Daniel puts on his best face and walks out the door. He can hear the TV and he feels himself smile. 

“Hey, hyu-” Daniel stops in his tracks. It’s not Minhyun. 

“Oh, hey. Surprised you’re up this early.” Jaehwan doesn’t look up from the screen. 

There are a million things going through Daniel’s head. He can feel the negative thoughts taking over his mind, little by little. 

“Yeah. So, uh, where’s hyung?” 

_Please._ He doesn’t know what he’s begging for. 

“Minhyun’s still asleep. He hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet. Can you believe that? He never sleeps in this late.” Daniel can feel his stomach drop to the floor. 

_He left me._

When the realization sinks in, Daniel feels numb. He can feel himself being washed over with vicious thoughts. _He hates me._ And why wouldn’t Minhyun hate him? Daniel has been acting like a maniac these past couple of days. So it wouldn't be a surprise if the other boy was fed up with him. But this is good. This is great. _Now I’m finally rid of my problem._ He forces a smile on his face and tries to convince himself that this is what he wanted. 

Suddenly he hears a door open. Daniel looks up to see Minhyun walking out of his room. _Prove me wrong._ He can feel himself desperately begging for a sign. A sign that everything is alright and that he’s wrong. He frantically searches for the older boy’s eyes, to make contact. When they finally meet, he is met with an impassive stare. Daniel can feel his heart break. Minhyun completely ignores him and walks over to the boy on the couch. He feels so numb that he can’t find it in himself to cry. 

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. No matter how much he tried to get his mind off of the older boy, he couldn’t. Even when his parents arrived, his head was somewhere else the whole time. Daniel just couldn’t believe what had happened. It’s what he had expected, but deep, deep down inside he wanted to be wrong. He really wanted to be wrong. So when he says goodbye to his parents, he can’t help but feel the sadness crashing down onto him. When the door finally closes, he makes his way to his room. Daniel buries himself under the blanket and cries. He cries and lets out all of his pent up emotions. And it feels good. 

When Daniel finally calms down, he stares at the ceiling. Tomorrow is the day when everyone comes back and he’s not ready. He’s not ready to face his members and pretend he's happy. He’s not ready to go on like there’s nothing wrong. But really, he’s not ready to act like everything’s perfect when the cameras turn on. Daniel is finally debuting. It's his dream. The dream he's been wishing since forever. But he’s not happy. There's no more excitement, no more butterflies, just fear. Fear that he's going to slip up and show who he truly is. A faker. 


	10. Misery

Daniel can already tell that he looks like a mess when he wakes up. He doesn’t remember the last time he cried that much. He was the type of person who bottled up all of his emotions. Putting on a happy face every day was just easier. No one questions him because no one knows. No one knows about the pain he holds in his heart. And things were better that way.

Suddenly, Daniel hears the front door opening and muffled voices. The sound triggers something inside of him, it gathers at the pit of his stomach. He suddenly feels nauseous thinking about what’s waiting outside of his room. He wants to sink into his bed and disappear forever. The last thing Daniel needs right now is having to deal with his bandmates. All he wants today is be alone. That isn't too much to ask for. So maybe if he stays in here they’ll go away. 

Maybe they’ll forget about him. 

Slowly, Daniel pulls his sheets over himself, looking for any sense of security and comfort in the thin blanket. He’s about to close his eyes when he’s interrupted by a loud noise. The door to his room swings open. 

“I’m back~ Did you miss me? I know you did. Who wouldn’t?” Seongwoo cheerfully yells. 

Daniel is not in the mood for his friend’s bright attitude. He wants to scream at the other boy to go away. To leave him alone. But he doesn’t. Instead he sits up, puts on his best smile, and fakes it. Like he always does.

“Of course I did.” It hurts to smile.

The look on Seongwoo’s face changes when he sees the other boy. A bright smile turns into a concerned frown. 

“What’s wrong? Like no offense, but you look terrible. Did something happen?” 

Daniel feels himself panic. Was he that easy to read? 

_I can’t let him know._

The younger boy waves a dismissive hand and lets out his best attempt at a laugh. “It’s nothing. I just had a rough night. I was up pretty late, so yeah.”

“So anyways, what did you do the last couple of days?” Daniel tries to change the subject. 

Seongwoo gives him a contemplative look, but he takes the bait. The older boy starts rambling on about his break, but Daniel can’t concentrate. His mind still floating back to the day before. He can still feel the pain inside his chest. Daniel doesn’t know if he’ll be able to face Minhyun without breaking down. And before he even has the chance to think about it, a hand tugging at his wrist pulls him back into reality.

“Come on. Everyone’s in the living room.” 

Daniel follows reluctantly as his friend leads him out to the large room.

Once they reach where the members have gathered, the two sit down on the couch. Daniel can’t find it in himself to look up. He’s scared of everyone’s gaze. Scared of the questions. Scared of Minhyun. So he glues his eyes to the floor, hoping no one will notice him. Even in a room filled with so many people, he feels so alone. It's as if he's surrounded by complete strangers. All he wants to do is get up and go back to the safety of his own bed. And he's about to do so but then he hears it. The earnest, breathy laugh that fills his whole body with warmth. No matter how much noise was going on around him, Daniel could always pick out Minhyun’s laugh. The familiar sound brings some comfort to the younger boy, and he can’t help himself from looking up, to find the source. When Daniel finds him, their eyes lock for a brief moment. Minhyun gives him that same impassive stare again before turning back to return to his conversation. 

Daniel can feel his heart shatter.

He thought that yesterday might be a fluke. That maybe, just maybe, things could be normal again. That Minhyun didn’t hate him. But nothing changed. And it continues. Day after day, as they get closer to their debut, Minhyun continues to ignore him. He continues to give Daniel that cold, emotionless stare. He hates it, he hates it so much. And with each day that passes, he can feel himself becoming detached. He isolates himself from the group. Every day, it hurts more and more to put on his fake smile. He doesn’t know how much longer he can last without breaking down.

But the thing that hurts Daniel the most is that Minhyun acts like nothing’s wrong in front of everyone. He’ll talk to Daniel as if nothing has happened and smile at him like everything’s okay, when it’s not. And the moment everyone leaves, the act disappears, as well as a piece of his heart. Daniel can’t count the number of nights he’s cried himself to sleep. He wants to yell and scream at the other boy, to know why he’s acting like this. But does Daniel even have the right to ask him that? 

He doesn’t think he does.

Tomorrow is their debut. The moment he has been waiting for, for as long as he can remember. But he’s not excited. He’s not happy. He’s dreading this day because starting tomorrow, it’s cameras on. And Daniel doesn’t know how much longer he can keep faking. Faking his smiles and faking his happiness. Because, to be honest, he is completely miserable. He doesn’t remember the last time he genuinely smiled, but it was probably because of Minhyun. Daniel can feel a tear fall and he tightens his grip on his blankets. 

_Please, tell me. How can I fix things?_

All Daniel wants to do is yell those words at the older boy. He wants things to be better because he can’t stand not having Minhyun by his side. It hurts. It hurts so much and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

_I’m sorry._

_I’m sorry I fell in love with you._

_I’ll stop. Just come back._

He doesn’t know for how long he cries. But he cries and he cries until he can’t cry anymore. When Daniel finally calms down, he realizes how pathetic he is. He’s been crying over a boy night after night and honestly, he’s tired of it. He’s tired of feeling sorry for himself. And he’s tired of being miserable. All he wants is answers. Is that too much to ask for?

Daniel doesn’t know how late it is but his two roommates are already fast asleep. His throat is dry from crying, so he goes to get a glass of water. 

The first thing he notices when he exits his room is the dim light coming from the TV. Right away he knows who it is. Minhyun is always up late watching documentaries. Daniel still doesn’t understand how he finds them entertaining and it brings a bittersweet smile to his lips. He remembers all the times the older boy would lecture him. Mihyun would always tell him that it was important to be informed. It made him sad thinking of how different things were now. Now the older boy wouldn't even talk to him. He feels hesitant going into the room knowing that Minhyun was there. But he thinks back to all those terrible nights and he suddenly feels a surge of courage. 

He’s been miserable enough. 

Daniel slowly walks into the living room. The moment Minhyun spots him, the older boy turns off the TV, completely ignoring Daniel’s existence. He gets up off the couch and makes his way back to his room, past the younger boy, and Daniel’s heart can’t take it anymore. Quickly he grabs onto Minhyun’s wrist. He can feel the older boy tense.

“Hyung.” Daniel can hear his voice crack and he feels tears forming in his eyes. He doesn’t dare to look up because, even in the dark, he knows that seeing the other boy will crush any ounce of courage he has left. 

Minhyun stays still. He doesn’t make any movements to free his wrist, but he stays quiet. Daniel hates it. He hates that the older boy has nothing to say to him. 

“Do you hate me, hyung?” At this point, tears are falling from Daniel’s eyes. Everything that he’s tried to hold in comes bursting out. This is the first time he’s ever cried in front of anyone. He hates looking vulnerable and he especially hates looking pitiful. But he’s been holding in so much that he can’t stop himself. He thought he’d cried all he could, but the tears just keep coming. They never seem to stop. Daniel's soft sobs are all that can be heard in the quiet, dark room. 

Suddenly Daniel feels a warm hand on top of his and his tears stop, out of shock. He looks up to see Minhyun and wonders what face he’s making because he can’t really make it out in the dark. 

“I don’t hate you.” Minhyun's voice is soft and hesitant. 

A wave of relief washes over Daniel. And then he’s crying, even harder than before, but this time it's not out of sadness.


	11. Answers

Daniel can barely see through his tears, but he doesn’t care. He leans forward and hugs the older boy, wrapping his arms around tight. The younger boy buries his face into the soft fabric of Minhyun’s shirt. 

This smell, he missed it so much. He missed all of this so much. The warmth of the older boy fills his entire body. 

Daniel missed Minhyun.

“I-I thought you hated me.” His words were barely intelligible through his sobs. 

Minhyun carefully puts his hands on the younger boy’s shoulders and pushes him off, so they are standing face to face. 

“I could never hate you.” The older boy’s voice is genuine. 

It’s almost embarrassing how happy Daniel is. These are the words he so desperately wanted to hear. He’s about to let Minhyun off the hook, to let the older boy get away with the way he treated him. But then he suddenly remembers all those sleepless nights. All the tears he shed for the boy, and he thinks it isn’t fair. Daniel’s letting his feelings cloud his judgement again. He can't and he won't. He’s not going to let him off this easy. Daniel deserves answers.

“Then why? Why have you been treating me like I’m nothing? Why have you been ignoring me?”

The older boy looks hurt. 

“You’re not nothing. You know you’re important to me. It’s just…” Minhyun pauses, as if searching for the right words to say. 

“It’s just what? Was I that much of a bother to you? If that’s what it was, you should’ve just said so.” 

“Th-that’s not it. I just needed time.” That triggers something inside of Daniel. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. You needed time? Now I totally understand why you treated me like I was a stranger. Thanks for the explanation. Really clears everything up.” He can feel the rage bubbling up inside of him. 

“Daniel, don’t be like that.” 

He can feel something snap, because Minhyun had no right to tell him how to be. Not after the way he treated him. Not after all the pain he caused him. He doesn’t know how much more of this he can take.

“Don’t be like what? Tell me. Is it not reasonable for me to assume you hated me when you wouldn’t even look at me in the face? Do you understand how much that hurt? You’re my friend and you just shut me out. How do you expect me to react?” 

He can feel his tears start to fall, but he doesn’t care. Daniel just needs to know. He needs to know how he can fix this. Minhyun reaches out for the younger boy’s arm, and Daniel flinches away from his touch. 

“It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I just needed time… to think.”

Daniel feels incredulous at this point, and he really wants to shout. He’s sick and tired of these vague answers the other boy is spitting out. It almost feels like an insult, at this point, because Daniel is opening up his heart to a boy who can’t even give him a straight answer.

“Think about what? What is there to even think about? How are we supposed to solve this problem if you don’t tell me what it is?” 

“Please, hyung.” Daniel’s voice shakes. “Please, just tell me.”

All he wants to know is why Minhyun is shutting him out. An answer. Just something so that he can understand. It’s not too much to ask for. It’s the least he deserves. 

“I can’t.” The older boy’s voice is quiet and he turns away. 

Daniel can feel his stomach drop to the floor. He thinks that maybe this time his heart is broken beyond repair. Stunned and distraught, Daniel stands in the dark. Minhyun goes to walk away.

“We used to tell each other everything.” The younger boy whispers under his breath, barely audible. The older boy visibly tenses up. Immediately he turns around and harshly points an accusatory finger at Daniel.

“Don’t you dare pull that on me. You have no right to say that to me. You were the one who shut me out first, so don’t you dare act as if you’re the only victim.” The cruel tone of the older boy’s voice shocks him.

This is the first time Daniel has ever seen Minhyun mad. He didn’t like it. Still, the older boy was right. But he had his reasons. Reasons he wouldn’t dare speak aloud. He just couldn’t. It was a secret that was splitting the two apart. A wedge that is being driven deeper and deeper between them. Daniel can only imagine what it would be like if the older boy knew. 

Maybe things won’t be the same anymore. Maybe they can’t be. Even though they’re standing so close, Daniel has never felt more far away from Minhyun.

“That was different.”

That’s all Daniel can manage, because what else can he say?

“Different? How? Do you even know how much I worry about you? I worry about you every single day and it drives me crazy. Ever since we moved into this dorm you’ve been hiding something. And no matter how much I tried to reach out, you kept pushing me away. Do you know how much that hurt me?” Minhyun’s voice is strained.

“Seeing you every morning so restless and tired broke my heart. We used to tell each other everything, but suddenly you started hiding things from me. I hated it. I hated that all I could do was watch, and that I couldn't do a single thing to take away your pain.” 

The words felt like daggers. Daniel didn’t realize how much hurt he caused for the older boy. 

_This is my fault. All of it._

Just because he fell in love. 

“I…” Daniel starts, and he doesn’t know what he’s going to say. Because honestly, would that fix anything? Probably not.

He opens his mouth to start again, but he’s cut off by Minhyun’s quiet whisper. 

“But you know what hurt me the most?” The older boy’s voice cracks. 

“That I was the cause of it all.”

 _What?_

A surge of panic goes through Daniel’s mind. Does Minhyun know? He couldn’t.

_That’s impossible._

“What are you talking about, hyung? You have nothing to do with this.” 

He’s lying through his teeth, but Daniel would rather lie than tell Minhyun the truth. The younger boy can feel himself trembling, unsure of how the other will respond. But right then, something snaps inside Minhyun. 

“There you go again with the lies.” The older boy’s voice is shaking; Daniel can tell that he’s angry. He doesn’t like seeing this side of Minhyun.

“I’m not lying.” Daniel quickly says. 

That was the last straw for Minhyun. Suddenly the older boy lunges forward, tightly gripping Daniel’s arms. It hurts. But what hurts more is seeing the stream of tears falling from Minhyun’s face, as he comes closer. He hates seeing the older boy cry. And he hates that he’s the reason behind them.

“Why can’t you just tell me the truth? Do you honestly think so little of me? Did you think that if you said that you loved me I would stop being your friend? Is that the kind of person you think I am?” Minhyun’s voice cracks, as he holds back his tears. 

Daniel’s heart stops.

“You knew?”


	12. Happiness

“I heard you confess when you thought I was sleeping.” Minhyun says slowly. “I know I shouldn’t have listened, but I couldn’t help it. I was so desperate at that point. I just wanted to know what was wrong.” 

Daniel is frozen. He can’t seem to process what’s happening in front of him. The secret he’s been so desperately trying to protect was out. Minhyun knew. He knew this whole time. 

That explains his behavior. That explains why he was avoiding him.

Daniel can’t help but let out a dry laugh. 

“Why are you laughing?” The older boy’s voice is serious. It’s obvious his laugh annoyed Minhyun, but he didn’t care. 

“You really don’t know why I didn’t tell you?” Daniel’s voice is cruel.

“Do you even see yourself right now? You did exactly what I thought you would do. I was so scared to tell you because I knew this would happen. That you’d start ignoring me once you found out. I knew that you’d react like this.” 

“Wh-” Minhyun tries to talk, but Daniel isn’t having it anymore. He’s tired of feeling sorry for himself and he’s tired of being pushed around. 

“No! Listen to me. When I first realized my feelings, I was so terrified. I thought something was wrong with me. And it’s not like I could talk to anyone about it.” His throat feels tight and he thinks he might vomit, but Daniel needs to let it all out. 

“I was so lost… and confused. But despite all of that, you were always there for me. Always. And I didn’t want to lose that. I knew that if I told you, you would become distant and I didn’t want that.” He can feel the tears fall from his face. Because Minhyun left him. The one person who was always there left him. Just like he knew he would. 

Minhyun loosens his grip on the younger boy’s arms.

“It’s not what you think.” The older boy speaks carefully and Daniel thinks he might hate Minhyun. Out of frustration, he pushes the other boy away. 

“Oh really? So you’re saying that once you found out my feelings you didn’t start avoiding me?”

His words make the older boy physically wince. Like a slap to the face. 

“No, it’s just- I just needed time to process things.” 

There it is again. That same, stupid excuse. Daniel was getting tired of hearing it. He wanted to scream and yell at the older boy. 

“Time for what? What could you possibly need to think about?” He was frustrated and drained. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to confront Minhyun. Maybe things would’ve been better if he just let them be. But then he hears the older boy’s soft, hesitant voice. 

“I needed time to think about how I felt. About where you stood in my heart.”

Daniel is shocked to hear this, touched almost. But he doesn’t let those words calm him because Minhyun caused him too much pain. Too much to just let this go.

“So you thought the best way to do that is by completely shutting me out of your life? Well, great. I think that speaks a lot about how you feel about me.” He knows his words are cruel. And he knows he crossed the line when he sees the older boy tense up. 

“Don’t talk as if you know everything.” Minhyun’s words are sharp. 

“You think it was easy staying away from you? It wasn’t, but I had to.” He pauses, as if he’s trying to calm himself. 

“When I heard you that night, do you even know what was going through my head? I was completely thrown off and in shock. But then I thought to myself: how could I not see it? How was I so blind to your feelings? Am I a bad friend?”

“Then suddenly, everything clicked. Why you were acting the way you were, why you started keeping secrets. Everything made sense. It was all because of me. I was the reason why you couldn’t even sleep, but I was oblivious to it all and so I just kept stringing you along. Do you know how much that hurt when I realized that?” The older boy’s voice cracks and Daniel is dumbfounded.

“You didn’t string me along.” He says quietly. Because Minhyun didn’t. He never expected anything from the older boy. 

“Yes, I did. All those nights when I climbed into your bed." Minhyun lets out a frustrated sigh as he rakes his hand through his hair.

"I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have done that. I just kept hurting you, and I couldn’t do it anymore. So I just thought that maybe if I left you alone, you would feel better.” Minhyun is crying and Daniel thinks he really is an idiot. An idiot that worries way too much about others. 

“Hyung, stop talking.” And this time, it’s Daniel who reaches out. Softly putting his hand on the older boy’s shoulder. 

“I knew what I was getting myself into. I never expected anything from you. And I definitely didn’t expect you to return my feelings.”

“All I wanted was for you to stay by my side, as my friend.” 

It feels like a weight has been lifted off of Daniel’s shoulders. He finally let out everything he’s been holding inside and it felt so good. He’s not sure where the two will go from here, but he’s happy he did it. But then suddenly the older boy comes forward and hugs him. Minhyun buries his face into Daniel’s hair and he cries. This surprises him, but it also fills him up with warmth, easing away all of his pain and troubles. So he wraps his arms around tight and takes it all in. Minhyun’s warmth, his smell, everything. And Daniel thinks that they’ll be okay.

After the older boy calms down, he quietly whispers into Daniel’s hair.

“I’m so sorry.” He pauses as he slowly looks at the younger boy.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I was an idiot. And I’m sorry that I ignored you. But I thought the least you deserved was an answer.”

Daniel’s heart is suddenly caught in his throat. _An answer?_ He’s scared. But he hopes the rejection doesn’t hurt too much, and he thinks he’s ready. He’s ready to put this whole thing behind them. 

“I’ve had a lot of time to think this past week. I’ve been thinking about you… and me. But also about everything, in general. I realized that I’m usually a very decisive person. I know where I stand with everyone, but with you it’s a big question mark. When I heard your confession, I honestly didn’t know how to react. It made me realize that I didn't really know how I felt about you.”

The younger boy is holding his breath, not sure where this was headed. 

“But there was one thing I was certain of, that I loved being around you. The whole week without you by my side was torture and so many times I wanted to give in. But I held myself back for your sake, and for mine. It didn’t feel right going back to you without sorting out my feelings first. It felt unfair to you. Had I have known that I was only causing you more pain by doing so, I wouldn’t have done it. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how sorry I am about that.”

Daniel’s heart feels like it’s going to explode. He can feel the sincerity in the older boy’s words.

“I realized that you are very important to me, and words can’t describe how much I care about you. I worry about you more than I should, and I always wonder how you’re feeling. Sometimes you’re all I can think about. I won’t make any promises, but if you’ll let me stay by your side…”

Those words bring a big smile to Daniel’s face. His first real smile in a long time. The younger boy tightens his arms around Minhyun and buries his face in his chest. Shyly, he mumbles.

“Of course, you idiot.” 

Daniel can feel the older boy’s hand slowly stroking the back of his head. 

“I’ve never felt something like this for another person and I’m still not sure what exactly I’m feeling, but as long as you’re by my side I think I’ll be fine.”

This feels so surreal. The younger boy was expecting to be rejected, but instead he got an almost confession. He can’t stop smiling. Slowly he looks up at Minhyun. 

“It’s okay, hyung. You don’t have to force yourself to do anything. We’ll start as friends, and you can figure it out from there. I don’t expect anything from you, remember that. If you realize you just want to stay as friends, we can do that. I just don’t want to lose you.” 

He tries to read Minhyun's expression, but it's too dark. Then suddenly Daniel sees the older boy’s white teeth, and he knows that Minhyun is smiling. 

“Yeah, that sounds good.”


	13. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys for the late update. I've just been busy since school is starting, but I promise to try and update as frequently as I can.  
> Thank you all for reading~ I really appreciate it.

It’s been two weeks since that night. Things have been so great that Daniel sometimes thinks it’s all a dream. He finally debuted and he’s the happiest he’s ever been. From performing on stage to seeing all their fans, everything has just been so perfect. But the real cherry on top was Minhyun. Daniel didn’t think he’d ever be able to jump back from what seemed like an endless depression, but he did. And it was all thanks to the older boy. Things were finally back to normal.

It was hard at first. Daniel could barely look Minhyun in the eyes without turning completely red. And the older boy was, in general, very awkward. So it took time. A whole week, to be exact. But eventually they got back to their old routine. Staying up late at night, watching movies, and talking for hours and hours. It felt so good to have Minhyun back. Daniel found himself smiling all the time, and not one of those fake smiles but a real, genuine one. Things were so good. Minhyun and Daniel were finally back to how they were before this whole fiasco began. It was just too good to be true because suddenly he was shoved back into reality.

Daniel was completely fine with staying friends. Despite his feelings being out on the table, he didn’t expect Minhyun to further their relationship. It was enough for him to know that the older boy cared about him. He didn’t want to ruin anything by pressing further into the issue. He was content. 

Or at least he thought he was. 

Tonight is just like any other night. They just finished practicing, and all the members are sweaty and tired. But Daniel finds that he likes these nights the most. Even though they’re all exhausted, it makes him happy to be surrounded by all of his bandmates. It further cements the idea that these guys will be his friends for life, even if they won’t always be together. There’s just a certain bond that forms when practicing together for endless hours. At times like this Daniel starts to regret when he pushed his members away, when he had shut himself out. He made a promise to himself that he’d never do that again. Their time together was limited and he wanted to make the most of it. 

Across the room, Daniel sees Minhyun, who’s sitting on the floor and resting his back against the wall. Although he’s covered in sweat, he can’t help but appreciate how handsome the other boy is. Daniel thinks it’s unfair. A man should not be allowed to be that perfect. It brings a little smile of his face. He’s about to push himself off the ground to walk towards the older boy when he sees Jinyoung sit next to Minhyun. Immediately the older boy wraps his arms around Jinyoung. Daniel feels a sting in his chest. They’re not even in a relationship, yet he still finds himself feeling possessive over Minhyun. It’s stupid, but honestly he can’t help it.

This has been a big problem lately. 

Daniel has never really been a jealous person. He thinks back to all of his past girlfriends and doesn’t seem to recall a single moment when he’s felt something like this. There’s just something about Minhyun. Maybe it was that night, maybe Daniel let Minhyun’s word get to his head but he thought he was special to the older boy. Yet when he sees Minhyun treating everyone the exact same way he treats him, it kind of hurts. _Ugh._ Honestly, at times like this, Daniel feels like a drama queen. He doesn’t really know why this bothers him so much. And he thinks he should get over it, but then he sees Minhyun kissing the top of Jinyoung’s head and suddenly all logic seems to go right over his head. 

Yeah, this really irritates him. 

He really thought that he could be happy with just friendship, and he is. Well, sort of. Daniel can’t say that he hasn’t imagined what it would be like having Minhyun all to himself. He can feel his feelings getting the best of him and he’s scared. Daniel’s scared that this jealousy is going to push Minhyun away. The best thing he can do for now is just ignore it. And maybe that’s not that best idea, given what happened the last time he ignored his problems, but it’s all he can think of at the moment. Slowly Daniel gets up, and instead of walking towards Minhyun, he goes in the opposite direction, to Seongwoo. 

If anyone can cheer him up, it’ll be him.

Sluggishly he makes his way towards his friend, wrapping his arms around the older boy and placing his chin on Seongwoo’s shoulder. 

“Hyung, I’m tired.” He says in a whiny voice. Immediately Seongwoo recoils and pushes him away. 

“Ew. Dude, you’re covered in sweat.” The older boy gives him an exaggerated look of disgust and it makes Daniel laugh. 

“Shut up. You’re sweaty too.”

“Yeah, I know. But I don’t want to be covered in your sweat too.” 

“Come on, hyung.” Daniel is slowly making his way closer to the other boy. “You know you love me.” 

Seongwoo looks scared as he is backed into a corner. 

“Help.” The older boy screams. “Help me.”

Just as Daniel is about to lunge for his prey and attack, he feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks back to see Minhyun, who is smiling at him. 

“Okay, enough of that. We need to practice one more time before we can leave.” 

Seongwoo takes that time to slip out from the corner to freedom. He gives Daniel an evil smile before hugging Minhyun. 

“My hero.” Seongwoo says before running away. 

Daniel can’t help but frown, and he gives the meanest glare he can manage to Minhyun, who in turn laughs at him. 

“Why are you laughing, hyung? I’m mad at you. I was so close to getting my revenge on Seongwoo for eating my ramen last night.” 

Minhyun just laughs again as he ruffles Daniel’s hair. 

“You’re just so cute.” 

Daniel thanks the heavens that he is still red from practice so the older boy can’t see the blush forming on his face. Suddenly he forgets all about his jealousy, and he hates that he’s such a lovesick fool. When Minhyun says things like this, Daniel can’t help but get his hopes up. It makes him realize how much he loves the older boy, but it also makes him realize how hard it’s going to be to stay as friends. Because his feelings keep growing and he doesn’t know how to stop it.

“Yeah, whatever.” He tries to sound relaxed when he is anything but that. 

Quickly he heads over to where the rest of members have gathered.


	14. Progression

It takes a lot out of Daniel to keep continuously convincing himself that everything is back to normal, because it isn’t. And yet he keeps doing it. Over and over again. Sure, they’re back to being friends, but there’s something different this time. Something that’s lingering and festering in the back of his mind. Daniel pretends that it doesn’t hurt when he sees Minhyun with someone else, when he gives them that same warm smile or that same vibrant laugh. But it’s not an unbearable pain, just more of a constant reminder of what can never be. 

A month has passed since the day he realized Minhyun knew about his feelings, and it’s gone by too quickly. No real progress has been made except for the fact that they’re right back to where they began. Daniel’s not complaining though, this is more than he could have ever wished for. Anything was better than losing Minhyun. He had never expected the older boy to grow any romantic feelings for him, but deep inside he’s a bit disappointed. And at times, Daniel can’t help but find glimmers of hope especially when Minhyun seeks him out in the middle of the night to watch movies. Or when he holds him close and Daniel can hear the steady beat of his heart. But he’s been holding out on his hope for too long, and he’s not sure how long he can handle it. 

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for him to move on. 

Daniel was naïve to believe that by now, Minhyun might have returned his feelings or he’d have moved on. Instead he’s wallowing in false hopes. He doesn’t want to be trapped in this vicious cycle. And he definitely doesn’t want to keep longing over a person who will never love him back, or at least love him back in the same way. It’s frustrating for Daniel to think about, but it’s the best solution. If he doesn’t move on, he’ll probably be miserable forever. 

And Daniel wants to be happy.

With a sigh of frustration, Daniel gets out of bed. When he walks out of his room he’s welcomed to an empty dorm and for some reason he’s thankful. Today is one of Daniel’s rare days off, and he needed it. For the past couple of days, he hasn’t been feeling that great, but last night he was at his worst. And because of his condition he was allowed to rest while the rest of the members were off filming. It was a relief to get away from everything. Things have been so crazy lately that Daniel still doesn’t believe it’s real. It's been like a dream, and he finds himself smiling as he heads over to the kitchen. 

_Time for coffee._

Softly, Daniel hums as he reaches into the cupboard for the bag of coffee. It’s kind of funny, before he debuted, he absolutely despised coffee but now he can’t seem to go a single day without it. He never seems to feel fully awake without having a cup in the morning. But when Daniel goes to pour out the coffee grounds, nothing comes out. 

_Just my luck._

Daniel lets out an angry groan as he throws the empty bag into the trash. He knew his dependency on caffeine was unhealthy but honestly he didn’t care. Daniel needed his coffee. And so, he knows what he’s about to do might get him in trouble but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, right? Quickly, Daniel goes to his room to put on his mask and sunglasses, prays that no one will recognize him, and darts outside to the café across the street. 

When he walks through the doors, he discreetly scans the room. It’s fairly vacant and no one seems to give him a second glance. _It’s safe._ So Daniel hastily goes up and orders his coffee. He nervously taps his foot while waiting for his drink, he just wants to get out of here. But then suddenly a familiar voice is being played throughout the café. 

Minhyun. 

He knows that voice anywhere and he finds himself smiling as he listens. Daniel had always loved it when Minhyun sang. There was just something about it that soothed him. And as Daniel stands there, the magnitude of his feelings hits him. That just by hearing his voice, Minhyun can make his heart tingle. And honestly, he feels pathetic. The fact that he’s longing for a boy who clearly only sees him as a friend really makes him angry at himself. And maybe it’s because he’s grumpy but he thinks he’s had enough. That he needs to find someone else, because he can’t do this anymore. He waited and nothing happened, so he got his answer. That’s all there is to it. It was time for him to pick himself up and move on. But who? 

Who could compete with Minhyun? 

Daniel doesn’t have time to elaborate on that thought because he hears the barista call his name, so he goes up to grab his drink. He wants to get out of there as soon as possible. Quickly he turns on his feet to leave but is soon met with a body, dropping his cup in the process. _There goes my coffee._ Letting out a frustrated sigh, he bends down to clean it up. 

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.” Daniel can hear a voice above him, as their feet hurriedly scuffle around. 

“It’s fine.” He doesn’t even look up because honestly, he can’t be bothered. 

Then suddenly he sees a hand next to his own, with a napkin, trying to wipe up the mess. And finally Daniel looks up. There he sees a girl, probably around his age. She has black hair that stops right at her shoulders, and bright eyes. Daniel thinks that she’s pretty. 

“You really don’t have to.” Daniel says.

“No, it was my fault.” So the two continue to clean, and when they’re finished, they both stand up. Daniel notices that she is much shorter than he is, the top of her head meeting his chin. Feeling awkward, he goes to turn away before the girl stops him. 

“I’m really sorry about your drink. I can buy you another one.”

“Oh, it’s fine. You don’t have to.” His manager will kill him if he finds out that he went here without permission. 

“No, I insist. It’s the least I can do. Please, let me buy you another one.” She gives him pleading eyes, and he can’t find it in himself to say no. 

“Okay.” Is all he says and she gives him the biggest smile in return. A smile that almost reminds him of… He shakes the thought of out his head. 

After ordering their drinks, they sit down at a table. Again Daniel nervously taps his foot. He shouldn’t be here. He should really go, but then he looks across the table to see the girl smile and he averts his eyes. His foot taps even faster. Where is his drink? 

“I don’t think I properly introduced myself. I’m Soojung.” She extends her hand, and Daniel gives it a light shake before he detracts his hand, only giving a nod as a response. Then he looks elsewhere, hoping she won’t say anything else. 

“What’s your name? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Daniel is caught off-guard, and it just slips out. 

“Euigeon.” _Shoot._

And right then, by the grace of the heavens, his drink arrives. 

“Sorry, but I have to go. Uh, it was nice to meet you.” Daniel runs so fast out the door, he doesn’t even hear what she says back.


	15. Daybreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a late update.  
> I haven't had time to write because of school, but I want to finish this fic so I'll try to write as often as I can.  
> Thank you to everyone who is reading, I really appreciate all the nice comments!

Daniel is out of breath as he slams the door behind him, his heart pounding. He brings a palm to his face. _You’re such an idiot._ How could he possibly be so stupid to just throw out his name in public? It wasn’t like most people knew his real name so it probably doesn’t matter. But still. Either way Daniel made it back to the dorm unnoticed so he was safe. Well, at least for now. 

Drained from an already stressful morning, he places his cup on the table and sits on the couch. The silence in the room is deafening. Daniel looks at the clock. It’s almost 12. Just five more hours until the rest of the members come back. He looks around the empty room and finds himself feeling lonely, which is strange. When he woke up he was glad to find himself alone, but now he seemed to miss the comforting noises that usually filled the dorm.

Daniel lays down, staring at the cup in front of him. His mind flashes back to the café, to Minhyun, to the soft sound of his voice playing throughout the store. He remembers how captivated he was when he first heard Minhyun’s voice at his audition. That was a moment he’d never forget. Suddenly Daniel finds himself rummaging through his pockets for his phone and ear buds. He carefully puts them in and searches for a song. The song. 

Daybreak. 

A familiar voice plays and Daniel instantly feels calm but lonely as well, even more so than before. He can feel a small ache at the back of his chest, but at the same time he finds himself smiling. There are so many conflicting thoughts floating through his mind. One is saying to keep loving Minhyun, but the other is saying to let him go. And day by day Daniel finds himself shifting away from the former and towards the latter. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but it was inevitable. He can’t help but feel a little sad as he drifts off to sleep with the sound of the older boy resonating within him. 

Daniel is awoken by a careful hand shaking his shoulder. He’s about to slap it away before he hears it. That voice he could recognize anywhere. 

“Hey, what are you doing out here? You should be sleeping in your bed.” 

The concern in his voice made Daniel almost want to cry. And he doesn’t want to open his eyes because he knows what he’s going to see. And he knows that it’s going to teeter his heart right back down into the hole he’s almost halfway out of. So he keeps his eyes closed because he can’t let Minhyun win. 

“I like it better out here.” 

He turns his body away, hoping the older boy will get message to leave him alone. Minhyun laughs instead and Daniel can almost feel himself melt at the familiar sound. But suddenly there’s silence, and he thinks that maybe Minhyun left.

“What were you listening to?” 

His heart starts rapidly racing in his chest. _No._ If the older boy finds out, he will never be able to look him in the eyes again. 

“Don’t-”

Daniel shoots straight up and reaches out to grab his phone but the older boy already has it. His heart feels like it’s going to fall out of his chest and he can feel the heat rising in his face. However, Minhyun gives a small frown and immediately takes out the ear buds. 

“It’s out of battery.” 

Relief washes over Daniel like a tsunami. He can’t believe his luck and lets a big sigh, thanking the heavens. The older boy gives him a questioning look. 

“What are you so relieved about? Are you hiding something?”

Minhyun searches Daniel’s face and the younger boy can’t help but laugh. 

“It was nothing.” 

The look on the older boy’s face shows that he’s not convinced, but he doesn’t press the issue further. Instead he takes a seat on the couch, patting the space next to him. Daniel is hesitant but makes his way over. The moment the younger boy is in range, Minhyun pulls him closer, wrapping an arm around Daniel’s shoulder. He can feel his heart jump. But only then does he notice the lack of people in the dorm.

“Um, hyung. Where is everyone else?” 

Daniel can’t believe it took him this long to realize that no other members were in sight. He gives Minhyun a questioning look and is given a big smile in response. 

“They all went to dinner, but I didn’t want to go.”

“Why not?” 

The hand on Daniel’s shoulder moves to ruffle his hair.

“I was worried about you.”

He knows that he’s probably overanalyzing the situation, and it probably doesn’t mean as much as he wants it to but he’s happy. The younger boy can’t fight off the smile forming on his face. And it gives Daniel the courage to wrap his arms around Minhyun, pulling him into a hug. 

“Thanks, but I’m fine. I just slept for most of the day.” 

And he finally looks into the older boy’s eyes. 

“You seem better. I’m glad.”

There he’s met with the warmest brown eyes and just when Daniel feels his resolve start to crumble, he’s saved by the sound of the front door opening. Immediately he lets go of the other boy and returns to his original spot, leaving distance between the two. 

Daniel can’t keep doing this. He can't keep going back to Minhyun the moment he shows any glimpse of affection.

Minhyun gives him a confused look, as if wondering why he pushed him away. He can hear the members coming through the entrance, Jisung’s loud distinct voice now fills the room. Daniel finds himself smiling again. The younger boy gets up to greet them, but he glances back and he really shouldn’t have. The older boy is giving an almost wounded look and it hurts, but nevertheless he keeps walking forward. Away from Minhyun.

As much as it pained him to turn his back on the older boy, it’s what he had to do. If he keeps going back, then he’ll be stuck. 

And Daniel wants to keep moving.


	16. Moving On

It was hard at first, it really was, but it’s getting better as the days pass. 

It’s getting easier to say no to Minhyun, to not be fooled by the older boy’s actions, and it’s getting easier for Daniel to push away his feelings. He thinks he can do it, and he fools himself by saying he’s already over it. Although his mind may be ready to let go, deep inside of him his heart is clutching so tight that he thinks it might be impossible. 

Most nights he is able to clear his mind from any thoughts of the other boy, but some nights Minhyun is all Daniel can think about. Tonight is one of those nights. He’s tossing and turning, unable to get the older boy out of his head. Every time he closes his eyes, all he sees is that perfect smile that makes his heart jump. He tries and tries to push that image away, but he can’t. At this rate, he knows he’ll never be able to sleep. He feels suffocated in this small room. Daniel needed to get away from it all, away from this place. 

He needs to get out of there. 

Daniel quickly grabs his glasses and mask, throws on a coat, and quietly sneaks out, hoping no one will wake up and notice that he’s gone. Once he is met with the cold night air, he feels better instantly, like he can finally breathe. 

The streets are empty and quiet; most stores are closed at this hour except for the café across the street. Daniel makes his way over and notices that it’s relatively empty. He goes inside and orders hot chocolate, because he doesn’t remember the last time he had it. When he gets his drink, he sits down in the booth at the back corner of the café. It’s relaxing and he’s able to clear his mind. 

This was just what he needed. 

Daniel finds his eyes closing as he slouches against the comfy seat. And he might have fallen asleep if it wasn’t for a voice that wakes him up.

“Hey! Euigeon, right?” 

Daniel’s eyes shoot open immediately and he sees the girl that spilled his drink. Soojung, he thinks. She’s smiling at him and his mind flashes to a familiar image. He pushes it away. 

“Uh, yeah. You remember me?”

Soojung laughs in response. 

“Of course. There aren’t many people who walk around in a mask and sunglasses, especially at night. Plus, I spilled your coffee.”

He finds himself blushing because he probably looks like an idiot. Who wears sunglasses indoors and especially at night? No one. But it wasn’t like he could just take them off. Even if there weren’t that many people around, that didn’t mean he was safe. He finds himself trying to make an excuse, as if that would make him look like any less of a weirdo than he probably already did.

“Um, I’m sensitive to the light.”

Daniel mentally slaps himself because that was the stupidest thing he could have possibly said. _Sensitive to the light? Really?_ He looks away out of embarrassment and he can hear Soojung laugh again. He expects her to make fun of him, but she doesn’t. She lets his comment slide by and Daniel appreciates that. 

“Do you mind if I sit here?” She gestures toward the seat across from his. 

“No, go right ahead.” Daniel tries to play it cool, but deep inside he’s still hitting himself over the head. This moment will probably haunt him for the rest of his life. 

She sits down and Daniel takes his first proper look at her. Without a doubt he can say that she is beautiful, maybe even one of the most beautiful girls he’s ever laid eyes on. That’s saying a lot right there. But it wasn’t because she was outrageously gorgeous, it was because Daniel could tell from the first look that she was more than just a face. It was the way she carried herself, the kindness that shines so brightly through her eyes, and that smile that is only comparable to one other. His mind flickers back to Minhyun and Daniel instantly pushes it away. No, he’s not doing this right now. 

_Focus on the moment._

_Focus on her._

Daniel looks back to Soojung.

“So, uh, do you come here often?” He inwardly cringes at how cheesy that sounds. She doesn’t seem to notice.

“Yeah, I live close by so I usually come here after work. What about you?”

“I don’t really come here that often, this place was just nearby and I couldn’t sleep. I came here to clear my mind.” 

Soojung gives him a questioning look. 

“Clear your mind of what?” She asks curiously. 

Daniel hesitates because should he really be venting to a stranger? What if she finds out who he is and uses it against him? The list of concerns is endless and Soojung must have seen the hesitation in his face. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry or anything. I’m just generally a really curious person but you don’t have to tell me anything. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or…” 

She continues to ramble out an apology and Daniel finds it endearing. He can see the genuine fear in her eyes that showed she believed she overstepped her boundaries. It cemented the idea in his mind that Soojung was a good person. And suddenly all his fears were wiped away. 

“No, it’s fine. It’s just a long story.” 

Her eyes twinkle and she puts a reassuring hand on his arm. 

“Well, I’ve got a lot of time.” 

And suddenly Daniel finds himself pouring out all of his heart to a girl he’s just met. He tells her about everything. Of course, he leaves out Minhyun’s name. And he leaves out the fact that he’s a guy, because he’s not sure if he’s ready to tell anyone about that yet. But Soojung attentively listens to every detail of his story and Daniel feels relieved. Relieved that he’s finally telling someone about this, and even though some details might be left behind it felt good to let it all out. 

He ends his long story with a question. 

“So what should I do?”

Soojung stays quiet as she contemplates her answer. And Daniel is suddenly starting to feel anxious. What will her answer tell him? What does he want her to say? And he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’s hoping that she’ll tell him to keep fighting. That maybe he just needs the reassurance that moving on isn’t right thing to do, so that he won’t feel guilty for continuing to love him. 

“First, let me ask you a question.”

“Um, okay.” Daniel is nervous.

“Are you happy?” Her tone is very serious and her eyes search his face.

The question throws him off balance because it wasn’t what he was expecting. But strangely enough, he didn't know how to answer it. 

“What do you mean?” 

Soojung stares at him intently.

“At this moment in your life, are you happy?”

Daniel thinks back to debuting, to performing on stage, his members, and all the great memories from the past weeks that bring a smile to his face. He’s had happy moments. But then he thinks about Minhyun and the pain they’ve both caused for each other. The pain he feels when he sees the older boy with someone else. And the sadness that comes from the realization that his feelings are only one-sided. 

“I don’t know.” Because he doesn’t.

“And why is that? What’s making you be so hesitant from saying a yes?”

Minhyun. 

It’s strange. How can the man who brings him so much happiness also be the main source of his pain? He doesn’t know how to feel about it. But he sees Soojung’s point. What’s the point of pining over a person who’s never going to return your feelings? It’s pointless and it’s only causing him pain, while Minhyun remains unaffected. In some way it’s like Daniel deliberately torturing himself by knowing that he will never be able to get what he wants, but still working towards it anyways. It’s impractical and worthless. 

Daniel finally has his answer. 

After that talk, Daniel finds himself going back to the café every night to find Soojung. The two inevitably become close friends, and she becomes a main source of Daniel’s joy. Late night talks between the two help Daniel distance his heart from Minhyun and for a while, he thinks he’s found happiness. But unfortunately, like all good things, it came to an end. 

Who knew a single action could change everything?


	17. Secrets

It was raining the night it happened.

Daniel was used to the process by now. Go to bed, wait until his roommates fell asleep, then sneak out when the time was right. It was risky because if he got caught, it’ll all be over. But he took the chance anyway. It was worth it if he got to see her.

He liked talking to Soojung. 

She always listened to whatever he had to say and she understood him, and he treasured that quality in a person. Daniel felt guilty about hiding a part of his life from her, but at the same time she knew more about him than some of his bandmates did. With her he wasn’t Daniel, he was just Euigeon, a regular boy. And the great thing about that was she respected that. Never once had she asked Daniel to remove his glasses or his mask, it was almost as if it was an unspoken agreement. No questions asked. 

Daniel runs across the street, pulling up his hood. When he steps into the café, he sees Soojung smiling, she’s waving him over to their usual booth. He swiftly slides into the seat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

She quickly pushes him off. 

“Ew, get away. You’re wet and cold.” This makes him laugh. 

That was another new thing in Daniel’s life. Laughter. Before he’d met Soojung, it was something that was uncommon. Rarely did he ever genuinely laugh, but now it seems to come to him naturally. There was only one other person who had that same effect on him. _Minhyun._ The thought of him brings a dull pain. It’s almost unnoticeable. Almost. 

Things between the two of them have been rather tense. Daniel still tries his best to act normally, but he knows Minhyun feels the underlying strain between the two of them. Being with Soojung helps ease away the tension. And it’s gotten better. Daniel finds himself being able to control himself when he’s around the older boy. No longer are his thoughts filled with Minhyun. But still, at the back of his mind, he sees those eyes. 

Those eyes he can never forget. 

But he’s moved past that now. And he’s happy. Right?

Daniel looks at Soojung. She’s staring at him with an irritated glare and it makes him smile. He thinks she looks adorable and decides to poke her on the forehead. Immediately she pushes the hand away. He can tell she’s annoyed with him. It’s probably because he was 30 minutes late. 

“I’m sorry I was late. Forgive me?” 

He can see the small smile form on her lips that she tries to hide. 

“See, you can’t stay mad at me.” Daniel cheerfully exclaims and lets out another laugh. It feels good. Soojung just stares at him, with unreadable eyes.

“What?” 

“I hate it.” A small frown forms on her lips.

“Hate what?”

“That I can’t see your smile.” 

Suddenly Daniel’s breath gets caught in his throat and she bashfully looks away as a small blush forms on her cheeks. He knew sooner or later he’d have to tell Soojung the truth about who he was, but he didn’t know he’d have to do it so soon. But he feels the guilt pooling in his stomach, and thinks that she deserves to know. Daniel trusts Soojung. 

“Hey, look at me.” He softly says as he takes her hand and she hesitantly looks over at him. 

“I should have done this a long time ago.” 

Daniel looks around the café before reaching up. She intently stares as he goes to remove his sunglasses. It takes a while for his eyes to adjust. It was strange to see Soojung without a lense in the way. No longer was there a dark filter over her, and he was able to take in her full beauty. His first thought was that the glasses didn't do her justice. He smiles as he goes to take off his mask but a delicate hand comes up to stop him. 

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” 

The concern in her voice warms his heart. He shakes his head in response.

“No, you deserve to know.” 

With that he reveals himself, and suddenly he feels vulnerable. He’s scared that this will change their whole relationship, but he trusts in Soojung. Daniel sees the glint of realization in her eyes as she studies his face. He can feel his stomach twisting in knots, anxious for her response as she stares. But instead of saying anything, she scoots closer and hugs him. His nose is suddenly filled with her scent. 

Strawberries.

“Thanks for trusting me.” Her voice is muffled and when she looks up at him, he can see tears forming in her eyes. 

“Hey, why are you crying?” He brings up his hand and brushes away a tear with his thumb. Soojung tries to look away but Daniel leads her eyes back to his. 

“I don’t know. I’m just happy, okay? I didn’t think I’d ever be able to see your smile.”

Daniel can’t help but laugh. She gives him an evil glare in response. 

“This must be real funny to you.”

“Yeah, it is.” He sticks out his tongue. 

In this moment he felt so liberated. The secret he’s been keeping from Soojung was finally out of the bag. Daniel knew he was right to trust her. He's never felt so great and thought that nothing would be able to wipe the stupid grin off of his face. But he was wrong because not even a second later, the happy moment disappears as a serious look forms on Soojung’s face. She slowly unwraps herself from his arms and sits facing him, putting distance between the two of them. 

“What’s wrong?” Daniel voice is filled with worry. Her eyes flicker away from his, he could tell that she was anxious from the way she keeps avoiding his gaze. 

“Now that you’ve told your secret. I think it’s time for me to tell you mine.” Soojung nervously bites her lip and he can feel his heartbeat start to quicken.

“You’re scaring me.” 

“No, it’s-it’s nothing bad.” Her finger is nervously twirling her hair as she stares at the floor. 

"It's just something I've wanted to tell you for a while now." Soojung's voice is shaking. 

“What is it?” He’s confused. Why is she suddenly acting this way? Daniel moves closer, trying to calm her down. 

“You can tell me anything.” His voice is soft and she turns her head away.

He goes to cup her face with his hands, forcing her to look at him. He’s never seen Soojung this nervous before. It’s as if her words were caught in her throat. Daniel sees a glimpse of something in her eyes, something familiar. And before he can figure out what it is, she pushes herself forward. 

Their lips meet. 

Oh. _Oh._

Daniel gets it now. And it's a lot to process. Soojung liked him? Strangely enough, he didn't know how he felt about that. But one thing he did know was that he didn't want this. At least not right now. It was too much. But before he's able to push her away, a loud bang on the table interrupts them. 

“What are you doing?” 

Daniel freezes. 

He knows that voice anywhere, but he’s never heard it this angry before.


	18. Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyun's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll~

Minhyun stares up at the ceiling in the dark room. Thoughts of Daniel swirl through his head as he desperately tries to sleep. He likes to tell himself that he’s been imagining it all, and that everything is okay, but it’s gotten to the point where he can’t ignore it anymore. He simply can’t turn a blind eye to the tension that’s been building up for the past couple of weeks. Why has it come to this point? He finally thought they were back to normal. Things had finally started getting better, and yet he finds himself drifting further and further away from Daniel. A part of himself can’t help feeling that it might be his fault. 

Maybe that’s why the younger boy has been distancing himself. Because of something he did.

But what did he do?

It’s frustrating, not because things have changed, but because they’ve stayed exactly the same. They still talk to each other and from the outside it seems like it's normal. But he can feel the difference. He can see that invisible line Daniel has drawn between the two of them. A line telling him that this is how far he’ll let him go and beyond that is off limits. Minhyun can tell that the younger boy is trying to be subtle about it. By trying to distance himself in in a way that wasn't obvious. But he noticed. He's noticed for a while now. 

_But why?_

Why is he doing this?

It would be a lie to say that it doesn’t hurt, because it does. It hurts a lot. Minhyun thought the air between the two of them had finally been cleared up. No more misunderstandings and all their feelings were placed out on the table. He thinks back to that night, to Daniel’s confession. Maybe it has something to do with that. Minhyun can feel himself flinch while recalling that moment. Inside he knows that he can’t disregard that essential aspect of their relationship, but thinking about it makes things complicated. 

He doesn’t like complicated. 

Even with that being said, Minhyun wasn't ignoring Daniel’s feelings. That would be too cruel. He makes sure to remind himself of the fact whenever he looks into the younger boy’s eyes and sees that look. The look that digs its way deep into his heart. Ripping and clawing away at him, filling him with guilt. And even after all this time he still doesn’t know how to respond to those feelings. And he knows that hurts them both. 

So yeah, it’s complicated. 

But even amongst all the chaos, there were moments of peace. Because you know what was easy? Being with Daniel. Whenever Minhyun is with the younger boy, all of his problems seem to vanish in an instant. It's only moments like this when he's left to his own thoughts that he realizes the true complications in their relationship. But he doesn't care, because when he's with Daniel it's as if none of that matters. Seeing his smile undoubtedly brightens his mood. And just by simply being near him he gives Minhyun happiness. At those moments, he finds himself thinking that maybe it could be love. But as soon as that word appears in his mind, his brain shuts down.

It scares him. 

He’s scared of what could happen if those feelings are left unchecked. 

Minhyun’s biggest fear is that he’ll lose Daniel. And he won't let that happen. So he knows, _he knows_ that if he takes the leap and accepts the other boy’s feelings, losing him will be inevitable. How long would it even last? How long before they start fighting? And how long before one of them says something unforgivable and they start to hate each other? Minhyun can’t do that. He won't do that. Right now, he’s content with their relationship because no matter what happens, they’ll always have their friendship. And he’ll be able to keep Daniel by his side. That’s as far as he’ll let it go, despite what he thinks he might feel. But then why can’t he just tell him no? Why can’t he just reject him and move on? It’s a funny question because Minhyun doesn’t know the answer either. 

All of it's quite frustrating and he can feel himself getting angry. How could they let this situation get so out of hand? He can see their friendship crumbling before his own two eyes. If he doesn’t do something about this now, not only will their friendship wither away, but he’ll lose Daniel too. Without that string of friendship, there will be nothing to tie the two together once they’re separated and Minhyun can’t handle that. He knows what he needs to do, what both of them need to do. They need to talk. And it's a conversation that’s long overdue. 

Quietly he gets out of bed, being careful to not make noise as he shuts the door behind him. When he reaches Daniel’s room, he stops. Minhyun stares at the door and is suddenly anxious. What is he going to say? Will this fix anything? He’s not sure, but then the thought of losing the younger boy enters his mind and it gives him the courage to open the door. Slowly he pops his head into the room, looking for the sleeping figure, but his eyes are met with an empty bed. 

_Where is he?_

Minhyun carefully closes the door and searches around the dorm for the missing boy but comes up empty handed. If he wasn’t here, then where was he? He couldn’t have possibly went outside, right? But it wasn’t like there was anywhere else he could be. So he puts on a jacket and goes outside. It’s cold and the streets are empty. Minhyun isn’t sure where to look. Most stores were closed at this hour. All the windows down the street were dark, except one, a café. He decides to try looking there. 

When he walks in Minhyun is met with the fresh scent of coffee. It brings a smile to his lips. It reminds him of Daniel. He quickly glances around and sees that it’s relatively empty. 

_Looks like he’s not here._

And just as he’s about to leave, a movement catches his eyes from the corner of the café. He sees Daniel sitting at the booth and he’s about to head over before he realizes that he's not alone. He's with a girl. Minhyun freezes and feels a strange pang in his chest. For some reason he doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like seeing Daniel with someone else. He doesn't like the fondness that is beaming out of his eyes as he stares at her. And he would've went over there if he didn't look so happy. Daniel’s smiling and laughing and Minhyun doesn’t remember the last time he’s seen him like this. It hurts. A lot. 

He feels out of place, like he shouldn’t be there. And honestly he doesn’t really want to watch anymore. So he turns his back, and makes his way to the door. Minhyun has one hand on the door knob and before he goes to turn it, he decides to look back once more. And he definitely shouldn’t have done that because he sees Daniel holding the girl’s face. A strange sensation brews inside of him and before he realizes it his feet start walking on their own, towards the table. 

No. _No._

Minhyun really didn’t like what he was seeing and he probably looked crazy as he stomps his way over but the two haven’t noticed him and frankly, he doesn’t care. But right as he is about to approach the table to yell at Daniel, something happens. In a blink of an eye the girl has herself on the younger boy. She's kissing him. And all Minhyun sees is red. It was as if he wasn’t in control of his own body. Loudly he slams his hand against the table. 

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t recognize his own voice. And he’s shaking as the rage fills his body. Minhyun has never felt like this before. He felt almost protective, like he was... jealous. And suddenly he feels a little dizzy as he is struck with a realization. It’s a little scary, but he thinks that deep down he had always known. 

As he stands there, looking at the two of them, all logic seems to fly over his head. Minhyun doesn’t think he’d be okay with having Daniel as just a friend. This anger inside of him was proof of that. 

Something flashes through his mind.

If anyone was going to have the younger boy, it was going to be him. 


	19. Confrontation

Daniel whips his head around to the familiar voice. There stands Minhyun, seething in rage. 

He doesn’t understand. 

Why is he here? And why is he so angry? 

But despite his confusion, he still finds himself reaching out to the other boy. And strangely enough, he feels guilty, as if he was caught doing something wrong. Those familiar brown eyes were no longer filled with the warmth he was used to, instead there was something he’d never seen before. His heart starts to pound.

“Hyung, it’s not what it looks like. I-” 

Minhyun cuts him off by grabbing his wrist, and starts dragging him out of the café. He looks over his shoulder and gives Soojung an apologetic look. The grip around him tightens. 

“Ow, you’re hurting me.”

The older boy ignores his comment. He continues to pull him until they’re both back at the dorm. Once they reach the living room, Minhyun lets go. The younger boy is confused, but Minhyun remains quiet. He stares at the figure in front of him and suddenly feels nervous, unable to read the older boy’s expression in the dark room. And when he can't take it anymore he decides to break the silence. 

“Hyung, look-” Daniel starts but is immediately cut off. 

“What was that back there?” Minhyun’s voice still filled with anger. 

“It wasn’t what it looked like.” Daniel doesn’t know why he’s defending himself. He didn’t owe the older boy an explanation. 

“She’s just a friend.” He says weakly.

“A friend? Oh really? So do you just go around kissing all of your friends?” 

Daniel doesn’t understand why Minhyun is so angry. Why did he care about what he did? He can feel the built up frustration he'd been pushing away bubble to the surface. What gave Minhyun the right to talk to him like that? He was finally happy. He was getting over the pain. The pain that Minhyun caused. Did he think he could just walk back into his life whenever he wanted? No. That’s not happening. He can feel resentment stirring inside of him. 

“Why do you care?” He spits out his words. 

“Are you really asking me that question?” Minhyun asks him as if the answer was obvious. 

It triggers something in Daniel.

How was he supposed to know? How could he possibly know what Minhyun’s thinking if he never tells him anything? The older boy had carelessly pushed Daniel’s confession away, not even giving him the slightest indication of how he felt. It’s been over a month and not a single word out of him with a response. So Daniel feels like being cruel. He wants Minhyun to feel exactly how he felt these past couple of weeks. He wants to hurt him. 

“What? You suddenly care about me now that I found somebody else? Well, news flash, I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.” He sees the older boy tense up.

“Do you even know how frustrating you are? I waited and waited and got nothing. Every day I’d tell myself that today would finally be the day you’d give me a response. And every single day I was disappointed. Did you expect me to keep waiting? Did you think I’d love you forever?” 

Daniel pauses when he starts to feel tears prickling his eyes. He desperately attempts to blink them away and takes in a deep breath. Minhyun stands motionless in front of him, saying nothing. It's infuriating.

“It’s been over a month, Minhyun.” He yells, not caring if he wakes up their bandmates. The older boy flinches at his voice. Daniel’s angry. Annoyed. The older boy has no idea how suffocated he’s felt these past weeks. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? I asked for something simple. I wanted an answer. Just something so I could have some kind of closure. You knew I would’ve understood if you just wanted to be friends. Was that too hard to say to me?” His voice cracks and he can’t fight the tears anymore. 

“Is it because I looked pitiful? Did you think that you were protecting me by pretending that nothing happened? Were you too scared to upset me?” Daniel feels his voice rising.

“Well, congratulations. Despite all of that you still somehow managed to hurt me anyways.” 

Minhyun deserves to know just how much he’s hurt him. He deserves to know that he’s the reason behind these tears. He wanted Minhyun to feel his pain, but the older boy remains unmoving and Daniel feels like giving up. He’s disappointed. This isn’t the guy that he fell in love with.

The guy he loved wasn’t a coward. 

“Do you have nothing to say to me? After all you’ve put me through?”

Silence.

“Fine, I get it. Just leave me alone.”

Even though he acts strong, he really wasn’t. Daniel turns around to walk towards his room. The pain in his chest is almost unbearable. Saying that to Minhyun truly broke his heart. It crushed him. He can feel the tears streaming down his face, and he fights them. He can’t let him know that he got to him. 

Daniel reaches his door and lifts a hand to grab the handle. He's distraught, still unable to believe that Minhyun didn't have anything to say. 

_I guess it's really over._

The thought hurt, but it was true. After this, it was all over. They couldn't go back to how they were.

Daniel has to bite back his tears. 

It was finally done. No more Minhyun, no more feelings. This time he meant it. He really did. But just as he's about to open the door Daniel feels something warm come up behind him. Suddenly arms wrap around his waist, pulling his back to meet a familiar chest. He feels hair tickling his ears as a head buries itself into his shoulder. A soothing scent fills his body. Daniel’s heart stops.

He can already feel his resolve starting to crumble. Daniel couldn't keep letting him in. He couldn't. And he's about to push Minhyun away, but he hears a faint whisper. And at first, he's not sure if he made it up or if it really happened. 

Tears suddenly pour of his eyes. Because finally. _Finally_. 

"I love you." 


	20. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter killed me to write. T_T  
> I struggled so much, so sorry I took all weekend long.  
> But seriously thanks to everyone who's reading, I truly appreciate all of your comments!  
> (By the way this is not the last chapter, there's still more to come!)

“I love you.” 

Minhyun whispers it again, louder this time. And Daniel feels like he’s going to combust. Never in his life did he ever think that he would hear those three words come from the older boy’s mouth. It felt like a dream and he feels himself waver.

“So please, don’t leave me.” 

Daniel can hear the dejection in the Minhyun’s voice and it struck a chord in his heart. And for a second he almost gave in. Almost. But a couple of nice words wasn't going to erase all the distress he was put through. No matter what Minhyun said, he couldn’t take away the past. He pushes the boy off and turns to face him. 

“You think that saying that will change anything?” 

That's a lie. It changed everything. But he didn’t want to cave in so easily. Daniel needed Minhyun to back up those words with actions. He wanted the older boy to prove that he meant every word he said. 

Minhyun slowly brings a hand up, placing it on Daniel’s cheek. It takes everything in the younger boy to not give in, right then and there. 

“I don’t, but I thought you should at least know. You deserve that much from me.” The softness in his voice makes Daniel’s heart feel weak. He can already feel the tears resurfacing. 

But it still wasn’t enough. 

“Have you ever even wondered how I felt these past weeks? Did you think it didn’t hurt when you treated me like I was special, just to see you turn around and act the same way with everyone else? Well, it did. It hurt a lot. I mean, was is that hard to admit how you felt? Or did it just take you seeing me with someone else for you to realize?" The thought makes Daniel let out a dry laugh. It was ridiculous.

"Did you hate it that much? Did you hate seeing that I could replace you?”

He knows his words are cruel but it was nothing in comparison to what he had to live through. Minhyun immediately tenses up and drops his hand. Silence fills the room as the two stare at one another. Daniel doesn’t know how long they stand there, completely quiet, but it feels like forever. When Minhyun finally speaks, his voice is hesitant.

“I think I always knew, I was just too scared to admit it.” The older boy says, slowly turning his head away, as if ashamed of the fact. And he pauses, trying to compose himself.

“I’m still scared.” 

Minhyun’s voice cracks and Daniel's anger dissipates. He's suddenly reminded of himself. When he takes a step back, he starts to understand. Fear. That was a feeling he knew all too well. It brings him back to the night he first realized his feelings, and the panic that had consumed him. He remembers the loneliness he felt during those long weeks, when it felt like no one was there for him. But this was different. Minhyun wasn’t alone because he had Daniel. And no matter what happened, he'd always be there. 

It was all starting to make sense.

Daniel pulls the older boy into a hug. _I'm not going anywhere._ He buries his face into the soft fabric of his shirt. Warm arms wrap tightly around him and he can hear Minhyun let out a sigh of relief. 

“I didn’t want to lose you.” The older boy whispers into his hair. The vulnerability in his voice tips the scale in Daniel’s heart. 

“You won’t. Not now, not ever.” He states it with certainty, leaving no room for doubt. 

Minhyun completely breaks down at his words, burying his face into the crook of Daniel’s neck. The hallway is filled with muffled sobs.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

The brokenness in the older boy’s voice makes Daniel want to hug him even tighter. As if to say that it was alright. But to be completely honest, he’s not sure where they’re going to go from here. This sudden confession changed everything. Daniel thought he had convinced himself that he was over Minhyun, but he finds himself suddenly reconsidering the thought. 

No longer does he feel resentment towards the older boy, yet he’s still hesitant in letting Minhyun back in. His brain is warning him, yelling at him, not to dive in head first and let his feelings blind him, because he might end up getting hurt again. He’s not sure if he could handle that. Daniel doesn’t even know the extent of the older boy’s feelings or if his confession was even an indication that he wanted to move their relationship further.

So Daniel pulls away, causing Minhyun to look up. Cautiously, he brings his hand up to the older boy’s cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb. His heart flutters when Minhyun leans into his touch. It was a familiar feeling, one that no other could draw out of him. He finds himself smiling because yeah, it was still there. The warm fuzzy feeling inside his chest telling him that this was, without a doubt, the person he loved. And that there was always a place in his heart that belonged to him. 

Deep down Daniel knew it too. He was fooling himself by thinking he could ever get over Minhyun. But still. Even after finally hearing those words he so desperately wanted, he’s not certain if this is the right thing to do.

“Hyung, what am I to you?” Daniel tries his best not to sound eager but inside he’s hoping the older boy can alleviate his wary heart. And to show Daniel that he’s being stupid for holding back. But when he senses Minhyun slightly tense the younger boy feels unease start to brew. 

Silence.

Daniel starts to grow nervous, the anxiety beginning to eat up his confidence. He finds himself starting to doubt everything, especially the older boy’s feelings. But before insecurity completely takes over his mind, Minhyun moves closer. Nervously Daniel steps away and feels his back hit the door. Suddenly he feels two large, warm hands on both sides of his face. The younger boy’s breath gets caught in his throat, heart pounding so loud he’s sure the other boy can hear it. And softly, in the most genuine voice he’s ever heard, Minhyun clears away all of his worries. 

“You’re someone I can’t live without.”

And Daniel feels the heat rise in his face, he’s almost certain that he’s bright red. He tries to turn his face away, but Minhyun’s hands keep him in place, forcing him to stare right into his eyes. How could the older boy say something so cheesy with a serious face? It was embarrassing. But the worst part was that he liked it. Despite how cliche it was, Daniel could feel how honest his words were.

Before he knew it there were tears in his eyes. He was tired of crying, but it was different this time. They weren’t out of sadness or pain, instead they were from joy. It was a good change. And he just knows that he has the stupidest grin on his face. Never in his life has Daniel ever felt so happy. He pushes himself forward, burying his face into the older boy’s shoulder.

“You’re an idiot.” He says as he sniffles. 

Minhyun laughs and the sound fills him up with warmth. 

“Yeah, well I’m your idiot now.” The older boy whispers.

Daniel freezes. 

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” His voice is filled with disbelief. Minhyun tenses in his arms.

“I mean, uh, I thought that… you know, since both of us… but if you don’t want to…” The older boy start stuttering out his words. Daniel’s never seen him so nervous before. He can't help but laugh. A real authentic laugh. 

Yeah, he had it bad. Real bad.

Kang Daniel was stupidly and foolishly in love with Hwang Minhyun.

“You really are an idiot, hyung.” 

With a new surge of confidence, Daniel circles his arms around the older boy’s neck. Minhyun smiles down at him and he feels familiar hands at his waist. Everything feels so right. But the younger boy can’t say that he’s not scared, because he is. There will always be that lingering feeling inside of him that fears his heart will one day be broken. But right now, none of that matters. Because when he looks at Minhyun he knows that everything will be okay.

Daniel pushes himself up on his feet, slowly closing the distance between them. But before anything he needed to know that Minhyun wanted this. That he wanted him. So he stops himself an inch away, and waits. And when their eyes lock, Daniel playfully threads his fingers through the older boy's hair, as if daring the older boy to come forward.

He feels the grip on his waist tighten and with a smirk Minhyun meets his lips.


	21. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back guys!~  
> Sorry for not updating, but midterms are finally over so I'll have more time to write.  
> I'll try my best to at least update once a week (maybe more).  
> And once again, thank you to everyone who is reading!

The next few days go by in a blur. 

And Daniel doesn’t remember the last time he’s been this happy. Long, stressful schedules no longer got to him. Instead he found himself looking forward to the days, anticipating each moment he could sneak with Minhyun, no matter how short they may be. The older boy had the ability to take him away to a world that belonged only to them. Where nothing else mattered. Where there was not a single worry in the world. It was so wonderful to be able to just take a break from acting as if he was perfect. From being Wanna One’s Kang Daniel. And instead just be himself. With Minhyun. It was almost perfect. Almost. 

Reality was his worst enemy. 

Because despite their happiness, Daniel understood the fact that not everyone may be so accepting of this new relationship. A silent cloud of fear continually loomed over his head. The fear of being found out. The fear of being rejected. Daniel would truly like to believe that his bandmates were better than that. He truly did. But he didn’t have the guts to take that risk. So they decided to keep their relationship a secret. 

For now. 

And he was scared. Terrified. But if it meant their happiness then he’d like to think that it’s worth it. And maybe one day he’ll have the courage to tell them. Maybe. Just maybe. But for now this was more than enough. 

\--------

Today they’ve gathered at the company building in preparation for their upcoming reality show. Everyone is sitting around a large table, Daniel squeezed in between Minhyun and Seongwoo. And honestly, he was exhausted. It had been a long night, with barely 3 hours of sleep. So it shouldn’t be surprising when he finds himself slowly nodding away to a monotone voice. 

Daniel feels himself drifting off to sleep when suddenly a hand rests on his thigh. He immediately shoots straight up in his seat, surprised by the unexpected contact. His abrupt action causes the whole room to give him confused stares. All eyes are on him. Daniel flushes from embarrassment. 

But luckily, the moment quickly passes and the director continues with his presentation. Daniel lets out a sigh of relief as he searches for the source of the mysterious hand. It was Minhyun. Of course it was. But the older boy showed no remorse for his actions, blankly staring at the speaker in front of him. It was as if Minhyun had not caused Daniel to completely embarrass himself in front of everyone. He lets out a scoff in disbelief. 

_Two can play this game._

Slowly, Daniel sets his hand on top and intertwines their fingers in his lap. He sees the slightest upturn from Minhyun’s mouth and Daniel can’t keep the smile off of his face. Because unlike Minhyun he had a very hard time with hiding his emotions. 

Across the table Jisung shoots him a questioning look and Daniel has to bite the inside of his cheek to compose himself. But his heart almost flies out of his chest when Minhyun gently squeezes his hand. The rest of the meeting seemed to drag on as he was constantly and painfully aware of their interlocked hands, wishing everyone else in the room would disappear.

And alas, after an hour it was finally over. But he was quickly rushed to the van as soon as they all left the building. Fans were starting to gather outside and the members needed to quickly escape. Daniel had to hold his tongue when Jaehwan pulled Minhyun beside him. He really didn’t want to make a big fuss about it so he let it slide. Just this once. Daniel ends up sitting next to Jisung instead and the whole ride was filled with yapping in his ear about how unprofessional he was. But by now he’s learned how to tune it out.

Once they arrive at the dorm, the younger members run straight to their rooms to sleep. Daniel should probably do the same, but there were too many things on his mind. So instead he looks for Minhyun, who he finds sitting with Jaehwan in the living room. Daniel makes his way next to the older boy and when he sits, Minhyun places an arm around his shoulders. He can feel a faint blush on his cheeks. Jisung and Seongwoo enter the room as well, placing themselves on the empty couch beside them. Daniel doesn't really pay them much thought. All he could see was Minhyun, and he scoots himself closer when suddenly Seongwoo starts staring at him.

“What was up with you this morning? You looked like you saw a ghost.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. It was kind of creepy.” Jaehwan adds, not even bothering to look away from the television.

“Don’t worry, kids. I already gave Daniel an earful this morning. Didn’t I?” Jisung expectantly winks at him, with a proud smile. 

“Um, yeah I guess?” Daniel responds indifferently, not really caring for what was being said.

“See I told you. I’m very good at these things. I was born to be a leader.” Jisung cockily says as he flips his nonexistent hair. Seongwoo rolls his eyes. 

Next to Daniel, Minhyun quietly laughs. He softly nudges the older boy with his shoulder, and moves in closer to whisper in his ear.

“You know this is all your fault, right? You made me look like an idiot.”

Minhyun simply sticks out his tongue in response and Daniel can’t help but laugh. He brings up his hands to reach for the older boy’s face but freezes halfway, suddenly remembering who they were with. The sharp bite of reality reminds him of the situation. Daniel’s face turns bright red when he realizes how close the two are, their faces only inches apart. Slowly he pulls himself back, returning to his spot. He tries to be as casual as possible, hoping that the others didn’t notice. But when he looks up both Jisung and Seongwoo are curiously staring at them.

“What?” Daniel attempts to sound somewhat composed, like his heart wasn’t beating out of his chest.

“Have you two always been this close? Or am I just old and don’t remember?” Jisung asks suspiciously. 

“No, now that you mention it, you two have been pretty handsy lately. I mean, honestly, you guys are almost as bad as Daehwi and Jinyoung.” Seongwoo adds, eyes thoughtfully scanning the two. 

"Maybe worse." 

Daniel can feel his palms starting to sweat, his heart is racing. But before he really starts panicking, Minhyun saves him. The older boy pulls him closer and pinches his cheeks.

“What’s wrong with me showing my cute bandmates some love?” A huge grin is plastered on the older boy’s face. 

“Hyung, stop.” Daniel has to fight away his smile, and pushes off Minhyun, pretending like he doesn’t like it.

“You guys are so gross.” Jaehwan mumbles, eyes still glued to the screen.

“Aw, is little Jaehwanie jealous? Well don’t worry, hyung loves you too.” Minhyun exclaims as he wraps his arms around the other boy. 

"Get off of me! I can't see the TV." 

Daniel feels jealously shoot through him almost immediately. He lets out a slow breath because he knows he can’t let it show. It'll only makes things seem more suspicious. So he does the only he knows how to do. Walk away. Daniel pushes himself up onto his feet. 

“I’m kind of tired. I’m gonna go take a nap.” 

Minhyun shoots him an apologetic look, and Daniel gives him a small smile of reassurance.

And slowly he makes his way to his room. He just couldn’t keep watching that. Daniel really doesn’t want to be that person, the one that’s consumed with jealously. And he isn’t. But sometimes he can’t handle it, and today is just one of those days. Daniel hated that he had to hide. And he hated that the fear inside of himself prevented him from being honest with his bandmates, his friends. But today was a painful reminder that he’s not as brave as he wants to be. 

They haven't even been together for a week, and they've already hit a hitch in the road. How about that? 

But never once did he think he was going to be easy. No relationship is. He knew the complications coming into it. And there is no way that he regrets it. It's just that he wishes the circumstances were different. But nevertheless, he had no room to complain. Minhyun was great. Everything was great. Right now his life was perfect, he had everything he could've ever wished for and more. And when he's with the older boy none of those details seemed to matter and they honestly shouldn't. If they were happy together, who cares about what other people think? And Daniel would like to believe that. He really does. But the truth is, he just cares way too much.

So Daniel crawls into his bed, slips under the covers and waits for sleep to come quiet his mind.


	22. Nights

Daniel wakes up to the sound of soft snoring. He looks to find both Jisung and Seongwoo fast asleep. When he tries remembering how he got in bed, his mind quickly flashes back to this morning. He pushes it away. This was not the time to be thinking about that. Sluggishly he sits up in bed to check the clock. It’s 12 am on the dot.

Perfect. 

Quietly, Daniel gets up and tiptoes out of bed. 

By now this had become a routine. With their busy and hectic schedules, Minhyun and Daniel rarely had any time alone. And to make up for that, they’ve made the habit of spending their nights together. Well, most of the night. They still needed to be back in their beds before morning. So it wasn’t much and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t want more time, but it was enough to keep them going. 

The younger boy carefully closes the door behind him, and finds Minhyun in the living room already waiting. And he can’t hold in his giddy laughter, because finally. _Finally._

Daniel can see the beautiful smile on Minhyun’s face from the moonlight shining through the curtains. And it’s like falling in love with him all over again. No matter how many he has to reminds himself that this is real, he doesn't believe it. He can’t believe that this man, right here, is his boyfriend. His _boyfriend_. And honestly, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over it. He could stand there, staring, all day and he'd be content. But right now wasn't the time for that. Because right all he wanted to do was hug Minhyun, and so that’s exactly what he does. Daniel excitedly rushes over to the older boy, propelling himself forward onto the couch. Minhyun to falls onto his back, Daniel landing on top. They make eye contact and both quietly laugh. 

“Someone’s a little excited?” Minhyun teasingly asks. 

He feels his face start to redden. 

“So what if I am?” Daniel says as he buries his face into the older boy’s chest. He feels it vibrate beneath him as Minhyun lets out another laugh. 

“How are you so adorable?” The older boy quietly whispers as he begins softly combing his fingers through Daniel’s hair. Instead of responding, he nuzzles himself closer, letting out a soft hum of satisfaction.

The two lay in complete silence. 

Daniel uses the time to take everything in. Minhyun’s scent, the soft sounds of his breath, the way his fingers feel against his scalp. The steady beat of his heart. Daniel loved everything about this. About Minhyun. He wants to save this memory in his head, to keep forever. To tuck it away in a secret and safe place. So then he’ll never _ever_ forget how it feels to love Minhyun. And how it felt to be loved. 

Even though nothing was being said, he could feel it. He could feel the love radiating off of Minhyun. And words could not describe how much that warmed his heart. Daniel lets out a long breath and nestles closer to the boy beneath him. He especially loved moments like this. They could lay together in the silence forever and he wouldn’t care. There was something comforting about the quiet, like nothing existed beyond this room. All his troubles seemed to vanish. Daniel didn’t want the moment to end, but it didn't last long. Nothing good ever does. 

Minhyun breaks the silence. 

“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to make you upset, you know, with Jaehwan.” The older boy’s voice is quiet, as if unsure he had said the right words. 

Daniel feels a pang of guilt. Abruptly, his mood shifts.

“No, you don’t have to apologize. I… I was just being stupid.” He pushes himself up and goes to sit at the furthest end of the couch, turning his head away from the older boy. 

“Hey.” Minhyun softly calls. Daniel can hear him get up and move closer. He feels a hand on his chin, turning his face towards the other boy. “Look at me. If you’re upset, then it’s not stupid. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?” Minhyun’s voice is gentle and filled with concern. 

“It’s just… I hate having to hide. And I know I was the one who suggested keeping us a secret, but it’s just hard sometimes.” Daniel lets out a long sigh. It’s sounds even more stupid now that he’s said it out loud. He buries his face into his hands. How did he have the right to complain about a decision that he made?

“Well, you know, we could just tell them-” Minhyun starts.

“NO.” He snaps. The fear is in his voice surprises him. 

“Just no…” Daniel quietly repeats. “Not yet.”

Minhyun gives him a concerned look but doesn’t continue. Instead he brings the other boy closer, pulling him into a hug. “Okay. We’ll tell them when you’re ready. But for now you’re just going to have to make do with this.” He plants a kiss on Daniel’s cheek and all of the younger boy’s worries dissipate. 

Sometimes he doesn’t know what he’d do without the older boy. Minhyun is the only person in the world that can so easily soothe his anxiety. Daniel knows that he worries too much, and he can’t help it. But seeing Minhyun right in front of his eyes, to touch, to feel, served as a great reminder. A reminder that Daniel needed to stop worrying so much about the future, and to just live in the moment. Because right now he was with Minhyun, the man he loved. 

And no one could take that away from him.

“Oh really?” The playfulness slowly returning to Daniel’s voice. He throws a leg around the boy, straddling and trapping Minhyun in place. “Well I’m going to need a little more than that.”

A quick look of relief flickers across the older boy’s face before he gives him a smirk.

“Is that so?” 

“Yes, it is.” Daniel whispers in Minhyun’s ear. 

He feels warm hands grip him at each side of his waist. The older boy meets his eyes. Daniel sees something in them that sends a shiver down his spine. Minhyun gradually brings his face closer and Daniel can feel his heartbeat quicken as his body fills with anticipation. But just inches away Minhyun stops himself.

And instead of moving closer, the older boy just stares.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason.” Minhyun flashes him a bright smile. He brings up his hand to Daniel’s face and touches his cheek. 

But Minhyun still makes no move forward. And by the second Daniel grows more and more impatient. He can see the mischievous glint in the older boy’s eye, teasing him. And he knows. He knows what the other boy wants. Minhyun’s waiting for him to make the first move. And Daniel doesn’t know why he’s hesitating. Maybe it’s because the two haven’t kissed since that night. Or maybe it’s because he’s a little embarrassed. But then he takes another look at Minhyun and despite all of that, he just can’t resist. 

Daniel closes the distance between them, his lips meeting Minhyun’s. The older boy immediately moves against him, soft lips consuming his senses. He feels the grip at his waist tighten, pulling him closer until their chests are touching. And Daniel realizes just how much he’s wanted this. Wanted Minhyun. The fire in his stomach burns hotter and hotter with each passing moment. 

This was getting dangerous. 

The older boy slips his tongue into Daniel’s mouth, and he’s overwhelmed with the taste of Minhyun. 

_More._

He slips his fingers into the older boy’s hair, pulling him even closer. Warm hands slide underneath his shirt, feeling every part of him. Electricity runs through his body and that’s when he recognizes it. 

Daniel wants Minhyun. No, he _needs_ Minhyun.

It’s kind of scary just how desperate he is for the other boy, but even in this state he had some sort of self-control. This was too much, too quick. And as much as he wanted this and as easy it would be to keep going, he knew they had to stop. They needed to stop before things went out of control. Because this was definitely not the time or place.

Daniel breaks away from the kiss and looks to Minhyun, who in turn gives him a confused look. And man, he’s never seen him this handsome before. Everything from Minhyun’s slightly disheveled hair to his swollen lips made his heart race. It made things harder. Way harder. But he gives Minhyun an apologetic look and he can tell that he understands. 

Slowly, Daniel gets off the older boy and takes a seat next to him. 

“This sucks.” He quietly says.

“Yeah, it does.”


	23. Lust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, sorry for such a late update.  
> Winter break is right around the corner, so I'll have more time to write.  
> But until then, I'll try my best to write when I can.

Lust.

Desire.

If you were to ask Daniel what these words meant a week ago, he wouldn’t know what to say. There was always something so strange and foreign about them. Almost as if he couldn’t fully grasp them. And he’s watched plenty of movies to understand the concept, but for some reason there’s always been some sort of disconnect. Daniel always found himself wondering how anyone could be consumed by lust. To want someone so much you forget about everything else? It sounded ridiculous. So never in his life did he ever think he’d experience them to their full extent. But back then he was naïve and frankly, that was before he met Hwang Minhyun. 

Daniel thinks he felt it, when he experienced the full magnitude of his desperation. It was almost as if the presence of the other boy took over his senses. And that’s when he knew. That’s when he knew how it felt to crave the touch of another. Because even now, when he should be focusing on preparing for their performance, it’s all he can think about. 

Minhyun. Minhyun. Minhyun.

The moment plays on a continuous loop in his mind. Last night he tossed and turned in bed, trying to fight away the memories as they resurfaced, unnecessary feelings reemerging with them. He kept feeling a familiar pooling sensation in his stomach. Like what he’d feel when he’d catch the older boy staring at him from across the room. So Daniel wouldn’t even necessarily consider it a bad feeling. But then, no matter how hard he tried to push it away, he kept remembering Minhyun’s warmth. 

The way those hands gripped him.

His lips.

He feels a shiver running down his spine as he remembers the sensation. Tightly, he shuts his eyes, trying to clear his mind. 

Daniel knows he’s in trouble.

Even now, as he is getting his hair styled, all he can see is the older boy from the corner of his eyes. It’s like he’s in a trance. As if Minhyun is the only thing he is capable of thinking of. He feels ridiculous. And it wasn’t as if yesterday was their first kiss, and he had definitely gone much further with girls before. But somehow this was different. 

“Daniel.”

He couldn’t seem to focus on anything. 

“Daniel.”

Honestly, he doesn’t know how he’ll be able to face Minhyun today. The younger boy barely avoided him this morning. 

Suddenly, a hand is on his arm, bringing him back to reality. 

“Daniel, are you okay? I’ve been calling you for a while now. You need to get up, Seongwoo needs to get ready now.” Minhyun says, giving him a worried stare. 

The younger boy unconsciously flinches away from his touch. A look of hurt briefly flashes across Minhyun’s face. Daniel quickly gets up out of the seat and tries to make his way over to the couch next to Jisung, but Minhyun swiftly catches his arm, and starts pulling him out of the room. Nervously, Daniel glances back at the other members, but none of them seem to be paying them any attention. The older boy drags him to an empty storage room, closing the door behind him. 

Minhyun is quietly staring at him, and Daniel can feel eyes on him but he finds himself not being able to meet them. He feels a gentle hand brush his, and carefully goes to hold it. 

“Hey. You alright?” The older boy quietly asks. 

“Yeah. Just tired.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t really the truth either. 

“Okay, good. I was worried. You seemed a little out of it this morning.” The genuine concern in Minhyun’s voice always gets to him. And Daniel can’t help but bring his face up to meet the older boy’s gaze. He gives him a small reassuring smile. 

“I was worried about, you know, last night. I would never force you to do anything you didn’t want; you know that right? I’m sorry if I tried to move too fast.” Minhyun’s eyes kept flickering around, as if he couldn’t maintain contact while talking to him. 

“No… It wasn’t anything like that. Trust me, I wanted it as much as you did.” The words just slip out and Daniel can feel his face completely flush because he can’t believe he just said that. He mentally slaps himself a thousand times. Minhyun laughs and all Daniel can do is bury his face into the older boy’s shoulder out of embarrassment. 

“Stop laughing.” He says as he softly hits Minhyun’s arms. But the other boy shows no signs of stopping and Daniel can feel himself getting redder by the moment. It feels like it goes on for minutes, but finally the laughing dies down. 

“Come here.” 

Minhyun quietly says and he pulls Daniel forward, holding his face. And slowly, the older boy closes the distance between them. Daniel can feel a familiar feeling in his stomach starting to stir as the two kiss. 

It wasn’t as intense as last night, but he feels the same electricity surging through his body. His legs almost give out under him when the older boy’s tongue starts exploring his mouth. Daniel tightly circles his arms around Minhyun’s shoulders to keep himself upright. He feels those same warm hands strongly gripping at his waist, and he thinks he just might melt. The fire inside of him burning even hotter than before. It was almost like he couldn’t get enough of the older boy. There was only one thing on his mind. 

Minhyun. 

_Minhyun._

The immense desire he had for the other boy was past the point of where he was comfortable. It scared him. And right now it was almost as if he wasn’t in control of his body. As if it was moving on instinct alone. This rush of strong emotions was something he wasn’t used to. It was consuming him. But when he feels Minhyun’s hand slipping under his shirt he's suddenly aware of their situation. They're making out in a storage closet. A storage closet of all places. It honestly couldn't get any more cliche than this. And for a second he thinks he might not be able to stop, because honestly, it feels really nice and it would just be so, so easy to just keep going but once again reason wins.

“Woah, there. Don’t get ahead of yourself. We have to perform soon.” Daniel playfully says as he pushes the other boy away. 

“Right. Performance.” Minhyun repeats, looking as if he was in a daze. 

It was strange seeing the older boy like this. Usually Minhyun was the calmest and most collected of all the members. And to be honest, from the surface he looks like he has about as much of a sex drive as a stale cracker does. And so to Daniel, seeing how enthusiastic Minhyun is about these endeavors is not only pleasant, but it makes him want it even more. He wonders how the rest of the members would react if they saw how eager he was for him. Daniel certainly loved it. The thought makes him laugh.

“Why are you laughing?” The older boy shoots him a questioning look as he straightens himself out. 

“No reason.”


	24. Temporary

Ever since their debut, it’s as if life had been continuously put on fast forward. All day, every day it’s work, work, work. Rarely did Daniel get time to breathe, and even then he felt as if he was constantly being rushed. These past couple of weeks have been especially hectic, with the end of the year award shows coming up. Things have been so chaotic to the point where he hadn’t had a single moment alone with Minhyun. Both were so exhausted after hours and hours of practice that most of their limited time was spent sleeping. The only thing that kept Daniel going was knowing that it was temporary. All the hard work was eventually going to pay off. He owed it to his members to focus so he could give the best performance he can. Those thoughts are what pushed him to go the extra mile.

The idol life was hard and Daniel had always known that to some extent. But nothing could have ever prepared him for it. And sometimes he finds himself wondering how much more of it he can handle. Granted, being an idol was his dream, it was something he spent countless hours working towards. But now that he’s here he’s not sure why he wanted it in the first place. Everywhere he looks, cameras flash around him. No words could describe his hatred towards those watchful and prying eyes, who constantly search for a crack. A chip in his perfectly crafted image. 

Journalists wrote about him as if they knew anything. 

He hated it.

And he hated pretending even more. He hated pretending that he was always happy. He hated acting like he wasn’t about to pass out from lack of sleep. And most of all, he hated that he had to pretend that he was perfect. 

Because he wasn’t. 

He was far from that. 

But Daniel has gotten good at hiding. And at masking all of his emotions with a simple smile. It was easy fooling those who never truly knew you to begin with. The real problem was keeping out those who knew you the best. It was like a continuous game of limbo. How low can he go before he loses? Before he falls flat onto his back and is humiliated. Daniel doesn’t know. And he doesn’t want to find out. 

Tired, Daniel shakes away his thoughts. He pulls his blanket tightly over himself.

It was always late at night where he found himself consumed by negative thoughts. Because contrary to what most people might think, he was a rather pessimistic person. Don’t let his laughing and smiling fool you, because behind his bright façade there was something much darker. And it might be due to his lack of self-confidence growing up, and how things never went his way. Or it just might be due to the fact that he knows life isn’t a fairytale. Things don’t always work out for the best. 

Daniel knows that from experience. 

But despite all that, he finds his mindset slowly changing. Although he can’t say that he’s completely flipped his outlook on life, he feels himself slowly softening up. He’s starting to focus more on the good things in life. Somewhere along his path, Daniel started to lose his way. His world became darker and he found it harder and harder to keep going. But when Minhyun stepped into his life, shining his light and warmth onto him, he not only saw his self-worth but the motivation to keep pushing. No matter how hard things got for Daniel, he always had someone to lean back onto. And no matter what he did, there was someone supporting him.

It was that unconditional love that made him realize that the world was not all bad. 

\---------

Daniel wakes up to someone violently shaking him. 

“Get up! You have 10 minutes to get ready.” He opens his eyes to see Jisung above him, with frantic eyes. The leader quickly runs out of their shared room and scurries around the dorm.

Groggily, he sits up in bed, and looks around. Seongwoo is already dressed and packing things into his suitcase. Daniel rubs the sleep out of eyes and yawns.

“YOU BETTER BE GETTING READY! DON’T MAKE ME COME IN THERE.” 

That was enough to motivate him to get up. Daniel didn’t have the energy to test the leader’s patience. So he hops out of bed and grabs the outfit he planned the other night from his closet. He couldn’t be bothered with fixing his hair, so he finds a random cap to top it all off. Once he’s dressed he finishes packing his suitcase, and scuffles into the living room where most of the members are gathered. They all look equally as dead as he feels inside right now.

Daniel drops himself onto the couch, closing his tired eyes. He feels a warm hand on his face and looks up to find Minhyun. 

“You okay?” The older boy softly asks. 

“Yeah. Just tired.” He gives a reassuring smile. 

Once their manager arrives, they all hastily make their way to the van and head out. It wasn’t a very long drive to the airport and Daniel can see that fans have already gathered around the entrance as they approach. The familiar flashing could be seen from the distance. Crowds of girls are screaming and pushing, trying to get closer to the vehicle. And although Daniel appreciated their enthusiasm, it was too early for any of this. But still, he puts on his best smile, and walks out of the van. 

_For the fans._

That’s something that he’s been finding himself saying a lot. And he's not sure if that's a good thing.

When they finally reach the terminal his face hurts. There’s nothing he hates more than faking a smile. It takes way too much energy, and he was already tired enough as it is. But it's not just him. Daniel takes a quick glance at his bandmates. They all look just as worn out, if not more, the lack of sleep evident in all of their faces. He feels a pain in his chest while looking at them, especially Minhyun, who has the darkest circles under his eyes. 

So when they enter the plane, Daniel makes sure to stay by Minhyun’s side. And you could say that he was being a little paranoid, but he wanted to keep an eye on him. Because he can't help but worry. The past couple of weeks were definitely not the easiest. Softly, he grips onto the older boy’s arms, and gives it a comforting squeeze. Minhyun gives him a weak smile and Daniel’s heart can't help but hurt. When they find their seats, he leans onto the other boy’s shoulder. It was hard knowing that he couldn’t do anything. That he couldn't take away his pain. But at least they were together.

That was all that mattered. 

And as soon as the plane takes off they both fall asleep, unable to fight off their exhaustion. 

\---------

He’s suddenly awoken by a soft shake. 

When Daniel opens his eyes, he's greeted by a smiling Minhyun. 

“Look.” The older boy softly says, pointing towards the window. 

He turns his head to look out and see the glimmering lights of the city. And suddenly he felt all of his fatigue disappear as he peered through the glass. The city looked so small. So insignificant. Just a simple speckle of lights below him. And in that moment, he felt so disconnected from the world. So far from the reality that was waiting for him below. Away from the cameras. Away from everyone. 

It was almost like everything outside the plane didn't matter. 

Quickly, he glances over to the boy beside him. The twinkling lights gleam in Minhyun's eyes as he smiles. That exact same smile that makes his knees go weak. And Daniel doesn't remember the last time he'd seen the older boy this happy. Weeks of practice and no sleep wiped any sort of joy from Minhyun's face. So seeing him like this filled his heart with an emotion that was indescribable. 

And for a split second, he felt like he could be himself. 

Daniel instinctively reaches out for Minhyun’s hand, interlocking their fingers. And he’s met with a surprised look, as if the older boy couldn't believe what he'd done. Even though they were on a plane filled with people, he found himself not caring. Daniel can’t help but smile, a real smile, because he’s happy. 

Really happy. 

Even if this moment may be fleeting.


	25. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for such a late update. :(  
> Lately, I've been finding it hard to find the motivation to write.  
> But after a little break, I'm back.  
> I can't promise that I'll be consistently updating but I'll try my best.  
> Thanks to all of you who are still reading this story, it means a lot.  
> (Also the next chapter is probably going to be explicit so I'm going to have to  
> change the rating.)

Deciding the rooming situation was awkward, to say the least. Up until this point, for every overseas trip, Daniel had always roomed with Seongwoo. Always.

It was almost like an unspoken agreement between the two, like it was to be expected. So really, he shouldn’t even be surprised when he sees the other boy heading his way. Nervously, he bites his lip as his eyes flicker towards Minhyun, pleading for help. Because, clearly, things were a little different now, you know, for obvious reasons. But he couldn’t find it in himself to say it. Or at least say it in a way that wouldn’t make it blindingly obvious that he wanted to be alone with Minhyun. 

“I call the bed by the window.” Seongwoo says as he approaches Daniel with a smile. 

He lets out a nervous chuckle. 

“Uh, yeah… About that.” His eyes once again glance towards Minhyun, at this point just begging for any sort of help. But the older boy showed no signs of interfering and instead he just stands and watches with a smug smile on his face. 

It was almost as if Minhyun enjoyed watching him suffer. Daniel glares at the older boy in return. _If that’s how he’s going to be, then fine._ He definitely won’t forget this.

“But you got the bed by the window last time. It’s my turn.” Seongwoo pouts.

“No. It’s not about that…” Daniel takes in a deep breath. He honestly doesn’t know why this is so hard for him. Maybe it’s because he’s not a very confrontational person. Or maybe it’s just because he’s scared he’ll hurt Seongwoo’s feelings. But if he didn’t do this, he wouldn’t have any time alone with Minhyun. That was enough to motivate him. 

So if he was going to do this, he might as well do it fast. Better to rip the bandage off than to drag this out longer than necessary. Quick and simple. 

“Actually, um, I kind of agreed to room with Minhyun this time.” Daniel mumbles as he stares at his feet. For some reason he can’t find it in himself to look into the other boy’s eyes. 

There’s a brief silence and Daniel can feel his heart pounding in his chest. Is Seongwoo crying? Did he say it too harshly? _I bet hyung hates me now._ He’s really done it now. It’s all over now. Thousands of thoughts fly through his head for the worst possible scenario. 

“Oh, okay. I’ll probably room with Jaehwan then.” Seongwoo casually says and Daniel’s head shoots straight up. 

“Huh? What? You’re not mad?” He says, confused. 

“Why would I be mad? It’s just a room and I’ll see you regardless so it doesn’t really matter.” Seongwoo sounds so nonchalant about the situation that Daniel almost feels embarrassed for getting so worked up about it. He stands silent, in disbelief. 

“Well anyways, I better go find Jaehwan. Bye.” And with that Seongwoo walks away. 

Daniel, still in shock, doesn't move when Minhyun comes over to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. And he definitely would’ve knocked it off, if it wasn’t for the fact that he probably looked like an idiot.

“That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” The older boy says. And Daniel pouts, turning to look at Minhyun. 

“I hate you.” There was no bite behind his words, but it was enough to get his message across. 

“Yeah, sure you do. Now come on and let’s go to our room. I’m tired.” Minhyun responds while yawning. 

And with that Daniel’s heart starts to race, as he begins to understand the situation he’s in. Now that he thinks about it, he realizes that he’s going to be completely alone with Minhyun. In a hotel room. Well, of course he knew that this was going to happen, but the implication behind the whole situation made him nervous. Daniel can’t seem to calm himself down as he walks with the older boy towards their room. Millions of questions and thoughts flood his mind. But when Minhyun opens the door to reveal two beds, he finds himself feeling somewhat relieved. 

“Is it alright if I take the bed by the window?” Daniel shyly asks, trying not to look at the older boy, as he makes his way over to the bed with his luggage. 

“Yeah, that’s fine with me.” Minhyun says as the door closes behind him. 

“Thanks.” Daniel smiles as he feels his anxiety dissipate.

“Oh yeah, by the wa-” His voice gets cut off when he feels the older boy come up from behind, pulling him into a hug. Minhyun immediately buries his face into the crook of Daniel’s neck. 

The younger boy can’t help but laugh. 

“Stop it. Your hair is tickling me.” He squirms around in Minhyun’s arms, but the older boy doesn’t budge, instead choosing to hold him even tighter. 

And softly in a muffled voice Minhyun speaks. 

“I missed you.”

The older boy nuzzles closer and Daniel feels an indescribable warmth grow inside of him. But now that he's actually had time to breathe, the realization hits him. He missed Minhyun too. He missed him so much. He’d been so busy these past couple of weeks that he had almost forgotten how much he loved being near Minhyun. Almost. 

Quickly, he turns around, circling his arms the older boy’s shoulders as he pulls him in for a kiss. Minhyun makes a surprised noise at the unexpected action, but doesn’t object. 

He slowly pulls back.

"Me too." Daniel softly says, as he threads his fingers through the older boys hair, their noses touching. 

Minhyun smirks as as he pulls the younger boy back into a kiss, only this time more intense. And when Daniel feels those familiar soft lips on his, his heart explodes. He can’t remember the last time he was able to kiss the older boy like this. Two weeks? Maybe three? Either way, it had been too long. Too long without Minhyun. And right now, as his mouth is filled with the taste of the other boy, he wonders how he was able to go so long without it. It was almost like a drug. And now that he's had a taste of it, he's not sure if he's going to be able to quit. 

He wants more.

The older boy tightens his grip on Daniel as he deepens the kiss. And he is suddenly overwhelmed with everything that is Minhyun. The way his strong hands hold him at his waist, fingers sneaking under the hem of his shirt. The softness of his hair as Daniel weaves his fingers through it as their kiss intensifies. Everything about it felt so right, it was perfect. But there was something missing. He can't count the amount of times they've kissed like this, but right now he just wasn't satisfied with this. After spending so much time apart, he needed something else. Something more. Daniel needed Minhyun to make up for all their lost time. And he needed Minhyun to show him that he missed Daniel just as much as he missed him. 

Softly, Minhyun pushes him backwards. The younger boy falls onto the bed and Minhyun is immediately on top of him, kissing him again, his tongue explores every inch of his mouth. Daniel’s brain turns to mush as he's consumed with a million of emotions and sensations. When the older boy slips his hand under his shirt, he's not able to think of any thing but Minhyun. And right now, the fire burning inside him, his desire, was stronger than ever before. This just wasn't enough anymore. 

Daniel breaks the kiss, and stares into the older boy's lust-filled eyes that sent a shiver down his spine. 

"More." He says softly, unable to catch his breath. 

And that was enough for Minhyun to get the message. Immediately the older boy latches onto Daniel's neck, kissing down to his collarbone. The younger boy can't help but let out a small gasp, heart beating in anticipation for what's to come. He knows what’s going to happen if he doesn’t stop this right now and he knows what it’s going to lead to. He's also a little scared because he honestly doesn't know what to expect. But there's one thing that he's absolutely certain of. 

Daniel _wants_ Minhyun. And that's enough for him.


End file.
